TRENTON, N.J. — New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie says President Donald Trump made him order meatloaf when they dined together at the White House this week. Christie and his wife, Mary Pat, joined Trump at the White House on Tuesday. The Republican governor said while guest hosting a New York sports talk radio show Thursday that Trump pointed out the menu and told people to get whatever they want. Then he said he and Christie were going to have the meatloaf. ‘‘This is what it’s like to be with Trump,’’ Christie said. ‘‘He says, ‘There’s the menu, you guys order whatever you want.’ And then he says, ‘Chris, you and I are going to have the meatloaf.’’’
I have two very different takes on this:
1. This is the most disrespectful shit I’ve ever heard of in my life. If I’m Chris Christie and Donald Trump MAKES me order meatloaf for dinner then I go find a relic gun on the White House wall, I assume they’re all over the place because that’s classy, and I blow my fucking brains out. That’s as low as it gets. Someone making you eat a food you don’t want to eat is as blasphemous as it gets. I’ll pout and won’t talk to a friend for weeks if we don’t go to the restaurant I want to go to, never mind if he made me order a meal off the menu that I wasn’t in the mood for. That’s the kinda shit that used to happen to housewives in the 60s, back before women were people. “Yes, she’ll have the salmon…. But Tom… I SAID YOU’LL HAVE THE SALMON, DOLORES!” That’s a scene from Mad Men, I haven’t scene it but I know it. Having that happen between two grown men is flat pitiful. Owning slaves is illegal but I think this means that Christie is technically Trump’s property.
2. Meatloaf is DELICIOUS. I don’t know who named meatloaf but they’re the biggest asshole in the world because the name stinks. I’ve only ever had my mom’s meatloaf and I absolutely love it, I don’t order it at restaurants because just seeing the word makes me grossed out. It’s the loaf. A loaf of anything except bread is gag worthy. I only know about meatloaves and olive loaves but they can both go right to hell.
So I kinda respect Donald forcing this upon Christie. If you know someone’s got a delicious meatloaf then you’ve gotta push it on a new guest, no one willingly chooses a meatloaf outside of their childhood home. At the end of the day you’re never upset about it, but it’s gotta be forced down your throat. Maybe Big Meatloaf could pick-up the ball here and start a rebranding because meatloaf is good, not bad, and should be respected. Just needs a new name and STAT.