Portnoy's Tweets Vs My Tweets Sums Up Just How Sick And Twisted Super Bowl LI Was

Super Bowl LI was a Shakespearean Tragedy. 60 Minutes of intense dramatics with the bad guy winning and the losers of the world (Atlanta and people like myself) taking the most improbable (yet simultaneously so so probable) football loss of all time. I present to you tonight’s game, as told by the biggest Patriots fan, and the biggest Patriots hater, on the planet earth. Me, on a roller coaster from Hell – tweeting like an asshole despite knowing how this movie ends every time. Portnoy, as cool and relaxed as can be, because he too knows how that movie ends every time. The juxtaposition is almost poetry. And it makes me want to puke. From 8:30 to 11:30pm:

KFC, 8:30pm

KFC, approx 9pm

KFC, 930pm

KFC, 945pm

KFC, 945-1030pm

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Portnoy, 830pm

Portnoy, 10:30