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A Day In The Life Of Glenny The Totino's Tourist - Part 1

pizzzza rolls

Houston is mayhem this week. There’s people everywhere, we have a TV show on Comedy Central, and frankly there’s not enough time in the day. All of our camera guys have been booked 24/7, so I decided to morph into the Totino’s Tourist. I love traveling around new cities seeing its sights, hearing its sounds, and eating its food. Why not do that with my favorite pizza roll provider in the world?

In part 1 I hit Goode Company BBQ with Chaps, The Houston Zoo as a lone wolf, and the outer limits of NRG Stadium. Let’s get touristy.

Ever since I acquired my 5 senses, Texas BBQ has been on my bucket list. The amount of times my taste buds have salivated over good Texas BBQ on the likes of Travel Channel and the Food Network is unfathomable. I’ve been asking the locals since I arrived in Houston, and everyone’s been telling me Killen’s BBQ or Goode Company. Goode Company was closer so Chaps and myself headed there.

You ever just picture something and have it be exactly that when you see it in real life? That’s what Goode Company was. Great interior design on their part.




The food was not too shabby as well. The brisket was everything I’ve ever dreamed of. It was the second best food I’ve had in Houston behind Totino’s Pizza Rolls.


My Next Destination was the Houston Zoo. I’ve been hearing rave reviews of it and my God did it live up to the hype. Kinda not like the McRib. The Zoo was the first of my alone adventures and I couldn’t be more excited. First time ever being a tourist alone and I loved every second of it.

First stop- smallest aquarium I’ve ever been to. Felt aquatic.


Found a Meerkat.




Below is an Okapi in the flesh folks, Zebra and Giraffe combo platter. No Big Deal.


Someone should’ve probably told Nala to wakeup and catch these hands. Male lion was nowhere to be seen.


I don’t know what in the world these bad boys are called, but they couldn’t be more Texas.


Bitchass apes were also too big of flakes to come at me, bro. Not a good look for the Houston Zoo to have their lions and gorillas MIA in primetime spots like 1pm. My only complaint of the day.

Kinda became a zebra for a hot minute.


I feel like every giraffe is named Geoff in honor of the greatest giraffe in history, Geoffrey the Giraffe.


Rafiki translated a lot better to animation. That’s a fake monkeys for those keeping track at home.


And now we’re onto Houston. I love stadium architecture so I figured I’d check out the exterior of NRG Stadium and see how close I can get. Wasn’t too successful. Hopefully I’ll be more successful at others stadiums Houston has to offer.


Stumps for legs? Sucks to suck


This house is a fucking fortress!



That’s it for the first day of being a Totino’s Tourist. Not gonna lie, it’s pretty damn fun roaming around a city all by myself. Pretty excited for what today will bring.