The Cowboys Came Back Valiantly But Couldn't Hold Off Aaron Fucking Rodgers And His Stupid Historical Greatness
Down 21-3, it seemed like all hope was lost. Aaron Rodgers was clicking on all cylinders, Dak and Zeke looked overmatched, and they targeted Jason Witten three fucking times in a red zone for no reason.
But then the Cowboys stormed back and kept Rodgers’ damage to a minimum while Zeke wore the defense down with plays like this:
And Dez Bryant had the game I personally wasn’t sure he still had in him with an unbelievable 9 catches for 132 yards and two scores. Dak made almost all the throws (one pick aside) and pulled off a two-point conversion that singlehandedly quieted any Tony Romo whispers. There was even an INT by a white defensive back, Jeff Heath (Jason Sehorn and John Lynch’s group text must have been lit). It seemed a lot like one of those games where destiny was on your side.
Aaron Rodgers then took the field. 3 minutes-plus ticked down with Rodgers and Ty Montgomery — who had a hell of a game with limited touches — methodically moving the ball down the field. My pregame pick drifting away before my eyes after Mason Crosby snuck a 56-yard field goal through:
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But they had a shot. 1:38 left, one TD, and the Big Swinging Dak chucking the ball to anyone and everyone to move it downfield until the NFC’s most reliable kicker Dan Bailey came in and knocked it through to tie it up. Bad news: 40 seconds left for Aaron Fucking Rodgers. Jared Cook, that big fucking perpetual waste of talent up until entering Aaron Rodgers’ orbit, catches a ball like a ballerina on the sidelines. Mason Crosby gets another shot to win it. Hits it with a perfect timeout freeze by Jason Garrett. Hits it again after the timeout. Nails kick, ballsy throws by Rodgers, what the fuck can you do?
The Cowboys will be back. They’re a young team, they’ll have Jaylon Smith hopefully serving as a difference maker on defense next year plus some signings and new draft picks. But this one hurts. Losing to an all-time great QB is as excusable as it gets but for them to have fought so hard and come up short…that’s a killer. They had it in the palm of their hands after a magical year and it slipped through. Here’s hoping they use it to get stronger.
Congrats to the Packers fans out there. Time to look at the bright side: