Zaza Pachulia, Yes Zaza Pachulia, Is Currently 2nd In Fan Voting For Western Conference Frontcourt Players In The All-Star Game
*Turns on Stephen A. Smith sarcastic, kind of outraged voice*
ZAZA PACHUUUUULIA. PEOPLE ARE OUT HERE VOTING FOR ZAZA PACHULIA?!?! WHAT?!?! (The WHAT was obviously in a high shriek).
Yes I know that the only thing worse than getting upset about an All-Star Game ballot are the people that stuff the ballots with shitty players. It’s even worse than debating if a player is Hall of Fame worthy. But Jesus Christ, America. It’s all fun and games until you actually watch Zaza get murdered on TV by a bunch of stars. Dude’s gonna finish with 500,000 fan votes and a goose egg for media/player votes and probably be relieved in the end. That’s how fans lose the right to vote in All-Star Games. The NBA All-Star Game is already basically just a mix of clean and botched alley-oop attempts before the last 5 minutes of the game and probably the 3rd best dunk show of the weekend (behind the rookie game and the actual dunk contest). If Zaza Pachulia gets voted to the All-Star Game, we need to just wipe the All-Star Game from the schedule and run back another Zach LaVine/Aaron Gordon dunk contest. Especially when you see the names behind him on that list. Holy moly. A fucking murderer’s row. LeBron is great and making The Finals a million years in a row is nothing short of remarkable. But he should thank God every day that he has never had to leave the Eastern Conference.
Also I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the travesty of Kristaps Porzingis being 7th in the Eastern frontcourt list. I hope and pray not one Knicks fan was responsible for putting him behind Melo. I’m still having a hard time believing that there is anyone in the world that would rather watch Non-Olympic or even Olympic Melo play in an All-Star Game over Porzingis. And I truly worry about Greenie’s mental health when he sees Isaiah Thomas is fourth on the Eastern backcourt list behind Dwyane Wade. That may be the final straw that finally causes him to blow a gasket.