If You're Not Pumped For The UNAUTHORIZED Britney Spears Biopic Then You Need To Get Your Head Checked, Pal

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(Source) -- Lifetime is set to dramatized Britney Spears’ story — without the singer’s blessing, mind you – and Entertainment Tonight was on the set, dishing out a first look at the TV movie biopic, Britney. Australian actress Natasha Bassett talked with ET about playing Spears. “I have a huge amount of respect for Britney and for her career. I listened to her music so much growing up. I have videos of me as a tween practicing her songs in the mirror with a hairbrush in my hand.” She added, “I’ve watched every video I can. Every interview I can. I just immersed myself into Britneyland.”

I think this is Lifetime’s new business plan. Maybe it’s their old one, tbh I wasn’t too familiar with it. But recently they’ve been dropping these unauthorized biopics that piggy back off the 90’s nostalgia the entire internet has, they’ve also done Boy Meets World and Saved By the Bell, if I’m not mistaken. They take something we all used to love, slap an unauthorized tag on there, release cast photos of people who look NOTHING like the stars they’re supposed to be portraying, soak in all the free press, and then we all forget to actually watching the TV movie.

Not this time, folks!

I couldn’t be more excited for this shit. Britney Spears is a huge part of my life. The gay community likes to use “Well when did you decide to be straight?” as a rebuttal to idiots who think homosexuality is a choice, but that quick wordplay wouldn’t work on me. Because I can pinpoint the exact second I chose to be straight, it was when I saw the “Hit Me Baby, One More Time…” video. That moment I immediately knew yes, I like that. I want that. For the next few years Britney was always there and ushered me through puberty. Whether it was trying to hold that CD case at such an angle I could see up her skirt (it never worked) or hoping someone would spray water on her in the “Sometimes” video, Britney always let me know that I was into boobies. How could I not be all in on this masterpiece? You don’t let an unauthorized biopic of a hugely important person in your life go by without paying it its proper respect. Can’t wait until time machines are invented and I can go back and tell 13 year old me that one day there will be a sex scene of JT and Brit and I can stop searching for it on Limewire.

Oh and of course you can’t have a Britney Spears biopic (UNAUTHORIZED biopic, no less) without featuring NSYNC heavily. They’re intertwined for all of history. What do they look like? Well, I’m glad you asked.

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To be honest, little shocked that the cast isn’t “Some struggling actor as Justin Timberlake, JC Chasez as JC Chasez, Chris Kirkpatrick as Chris Kirkpatrick, Joey Fatone as Joey Fatone… AND an offensively gay guy as Lance Bass.” Feel like if Lifetime cracked that TJ Maxx purse open just a little bit they could have gotten those guys. They’ve gotta be sick of teaching dance class to thirteen year old girls in a strip mall dance studio by now.