In Case You Missed It: October 24-28
On any given day, there could beat least 75 new posts up on this goddamn website. Now granted, there are always some re-blogs and at least 20 wake ups/GTA’s/Smokeshow posts, but there’s still a shit ton that goes on every day. Between all those posts and listening to all the podcasts and trying to actually do a little bit of real work throughout your week, it’s easy to see how you would miss some things here and there. Even if you’ve signed up for the BARSTOOL SPORTS RANDOM THOUGHTS NEWSLETTER (sign up here), there are still some posts that just fall through the cracks. So that’s where In Case You Missed It comes in. A quick week in review on Friday afternoons highlighting the major stories from Monday-Friday for those of you who aren’t able to sit there and read every single post (or just wait for the second something is posted so you can be the first to comment about how shitty the blogger is).
Monday October 24
– America vs England. The Middle East vs seemingly everybody. UCF vs UConn. Just some of the greatest rivalries in world history. And as if the blood wasn’t bad enough between these two powerhouses, UCF leaving the inaugural ConFLiCT trophy at UConn is like throwing a match into a swimming pool full of gasoline.
– The fact that these “Vine stars” were able to make $250,000 in one day of “work” makes me want to vomit all over my keyboard, drink up the vomit through a straw and then vomit again. Even though it looks like that won’t be the case for much longer, Logan Paul and the rest of those bastards are still the enemy.
– This week’s MMBM asks the question we’re all wondering, just nobody else has the balls to say it. Since when did kissing your sister become such a bad thing? It’s like they always say–incest is the best cest.
– I’m actually disappointed in all of us that it took us this long to create Girl Scout Cookie cereal.
Tuesday October 25
– If you’re one of the 1 or 2 chicks that are reading this… first off, sup? Second off, Saturday Night Live took it upon themselves to show you exactly how your Halloween Weekend will go.
– Speaking of Halloween, this adult man-child dressed up as a 13 year old and suited up for a PeeWee football game. Apparently you’re not allowed to do that. Thanks Obama.
– Smartest dude on the planet got his marriage annulled after specifically stating in his pre-nup that he’d divorce his wife if she snapchatted their wedding. Now he doesn’t even have to go through the awkward “it’s not you, it’s me” conversation. He’s contractually obligated to leave her. Genius.
– Now that this dude isn’t married anymore, he can watch the Virtual Reality version of the Kim Kardashian sex tape all he wants.
Wednesday October 26
– I’m no lawyer but this grown ass man is 100% in the right for calling the cops on his mother after she wouldn’t buy his IHOP. It doesn’t matter how old your son is. If you don’t want to buy him IHOP, maybe you shouldn’t have popped him out of your snatch. (Can you believe this happened in Florida? Me neither).
– I hate this smug bastard who predicted the Cubs winning the 2016 World Series in his 1993 Yearbook. Like what would have ever happened to him if the Cubs didn’t even make the playoffs this year? Nothing. Nobody would even remember the prediction. There was no risk whatsoever in making that claim. I’m sorry but unless there’s something on the line for being wrong, I don’t give a damn about your outlandish 23-year-old prediction.
– Best News of the Week: it’s finally personality season. Break out the puffy vests. Throw on those hoodies. No more feeling completely inadequate at the bar because you have a body sculpted from Play-Doh. This is our season, boys.
– Sports Highlight of the Week: my beer league hockey team scoring the game-tying goal with 0.8 seconds left and then winning in overtime.
Thursday October 27
– If you’re going to lead the police on a high speed pursuit, it only makes sense to make a stop at In N’ Out along the way. Gotta make sure you fuel up properly.
– Uber has some balls to say they’ll be breaking out flying cars in 2026. Maybe focus on finding drivers who understand how to work a GPS first before you try tackling flying cars.
– Are Kyle Schwarber and Glenathan Balls long lost brothers? It sure looks that way.
– RIP Vine. I think we can all agree that Roger Goodell murdered you. Pour one out for Logan Paul.
Friday October 28: That is today.
Bonus:
– Hurt or injured, it doesn’t matter. The PMT boys are still going to get you Larry’s Picks. (take notes, soft ass NBA players).
– There’s never been a fight that I’ve needed to happen more than Sugar Ray Smitty vs Necrophilia Nate. Here’s how we can make that a reality.
Smokeshow of the Week: Monica from New Hampshire
