BLACK FRIDAY WEEKEND SALE: 20% Off the Barstool Store | New Collections & Limited Edition Hoodies, Crewnecks, T-Shirts, Hats, Jackets and MoreSHOP NOW

Has Anybody Ever Fucked Me Over Worse Than My Kid's Daycare Being Closed On Columbus Day?

Stroll up to daycare today same routine as always. I usually strut right in there throw my kid into the arms of a couple women I barely know, and I outsource the shit out of my parenting. I get a twinge of sadness when I leave her but that quickly turns into “OK I can go be a real human again now.”

Well today I walk up and see the doors are locked and the lights are off. “We will be closed October 10th for Columbus Day.” Closed for Columbus Day??? You cant watch my kid for me because Christopher Columbus got lost 500 years ago? Get the fuck out of here with that nonsense. Do you know how bad that fucks me over? Now I gotta watch my kid for a WHOLE DAY. By myself. Thats fucking impossible. I dont know how the women at daycare do it because they have like 8 kids in the room at a time. I cant even do one. She eats like 800 times a day. She’s crawling and sorta walking now so its not even like I can just put her down and leave her there anymore. Her new thing is she crawls directly for Duncan’s bowls. I looked away for 2 seconds and she poured the whole bowl of dog water in her lap. And if shes not grabbing pieces of dog kibble, she is headed right for the nearest electrical cord. There are 40 million toys here and she just wants to play with the long rubber noose connected to the electrical power source. Fantastic.

She constantly needs to be entertained and if she isnt, she starts crying. She is such a BABY sometimes. So here’s to you, Christopher Columbus. And heres to you too, daycare. This fake ass holiday has RUINED my Monday. I’m just praying to God above that I can make it to 7pm. Stay at home parents who just raise the kids are NUTS.

PS – Ive decided the worst part of parenting is holding in a sneeze when you finally get them to nap. When I sneeze I LET IT RIP. This morning I already had to hold 2 in. Feels like me head is going to explode and me brain is being forced down into my lungs. Here lies KFC – dead from holding in sneezes for Shea.

If this blog resonates with you at all, Subscribe to The Podfathers on iTunes. More of this to come very soon.

unnamed