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Turns Out Alicia Machado AKA Donald Trump's "Miss Piggy" Was The Getaway Driver In A Murder And Threatened To Kill The Judge Who Convicted Her Boyfriend In 1998

CNN – “There are reports that Trump surrogates tonight have been referencing and been pointing to … about an incident in 1998 in Venezuela where you were accused of driving a getaway car from a murder scene. You were never charged with this. The judge in the case also said you threatened to kill him after he indicted your boyfriend for the attempted murder. I just want to give you a chance to respond these reports,” Cooper said. Machado responded: “He can say whatever he wants to say. I don’t care. You know, I have my past, of course everybody has a past. And I’m no saint girl. But that is not the point now … (Trump) was really rude with me, he tried to destroy my self esteem. And now I’m a voice in the Latin community. I’m in a great moment in my life and I have a very clear life. And I can show my taxes.”

That is rich. REAL rich. We got Hillary Clinton digging up stories about Donald Trump calling people names and it turns out the same chick is basically an accessory to murder. “Donald Trump called me Miss Piggy!” “Yea but also didnt you murder someone?” “Thats not what we’re talking about here! Lets get back to the name calling!” Thats an OUTRAGEOUS move. Basically saying “The point is not that I killed a guy. The point is that man was rude to me.” Lets not talk about the past unless its the part where we talk about Donald’s past! You know what my favorite part of this is? I bet Donald knew about the murder and didnt care. Hell, he may have even helped her. Trump seems like the type of dude that can easily get you out of trouble in a Venezuelan murder case. He probably pulled some strings and got her off. He just didnt want Miss Universe to be a fat bitch. Is that too much to ask???? He’ll make your murders disappear, just make sure you dont pack on pounds. I dunno that seems fair to me. He doesnt want reigning champs to be murderers or carry extra weight and he can only make one of those things disappear. You gotta hold up your end of the bargain.

All in all its one of my favorite Skeletons In Your Closet moments. If this was me I’d probably be like “Lets not talk about what happened in the late 90s because I also kinda murdered a person right around that same time.” Its like when you complain about the way your teacher graded a certain question on the test and the teacher says “I’ll regrade it but that means I get to double check every single question as well as that one.” And you’re like hmmmm fuck that never mind. You screwed up #9 but I got away with 10, 11, and 12 so I’ll just keep my mouth shut and be happy. Thats Donald Trump being mean to you in 1996 but you and your boyfriend also murdered someone in 1998. Just zip ya lip.