Legit Can't Wait To Be This Father Who Tosses His Toddler Into Space To Retrieve A Balloon

Dad of the year! Absolutely love it. Everyone’s father did this kind of stuff to them growing up or else you probably were raised in a protective bubble sucking on your mother’s teat 24/7. Legitimately can’t wait to do this with my kids when I’m ready to be a father in 25 years. And that includes snowballing them to hell like this Dad did to his spawn over the winter:

Hey kiddo, tough tits. Your Pops got the best of you so quit the waterworks. Take his (guaranteed) advice of rubbing some dirt on it and you’ll be just fine. And I think we’re discounting the toss here. I haven’t seen a chuck like that since the Test Of Soldierly in Braveheart. This Dad can kill a man with that throw, as it matters in battle.

Just as when Harry Dunn walloped Mary Swanson in the face, anything that happens in the snow is out of love. I think. Unless it’s real life and your friend still wouldn’t talk to you 2 weeks later. Still worth it.

Scratch that.