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It's Official: Eagles Longsnapping Magician Jon Dorenbos Is A Goddamn Wizard

His most recent effort on America’s Got Talent:

That black magic is STILL somehow not good enough to make last season disappear, but I digress. This was Dorenbos’ 4th go around on AGT. Ho hum. So the guy can sling some magic. Nothing we haven’t known before. His sorcery explains how someone with his looks/athletic skill has made a decade long NFL career after he sent in his buddy’s HS highlight tape to UTEP (in which landed him a scholarship) and eventually landing his (ex) wife. But the real fact of the matter is Dorenbos is climbing the magic ranks so much he’ll miss more practices…and everyone, including the Eagles, are OK with that. And why wouldn’t they be? This is a long snapper we’re talking about. The man literally has 4 responsibilities: FG, XP, Punt, and remember how to breathe. Not like he’s memorizing an entire new playbook. However, I will say this, I don’t care how long Dorenbos has been an Eagle, this is still a “What have you done for me lately?” league. And honestly he’s been outrageously effective during his decade long career with the Birds, but if shit starts to hit the fan on special teams then The Great Dorenbos will be forever no more. At that point he’s just a rich man’s Gob. Long. Live. The Final Countdown.