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Dan Mullen Shows Up To SEC Media Days In "Swagged Out" Yeezy Boosts, Proceeds To Give Cringeworthy Press Conference About The 1 Game Suspension For A Woman Beater

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HOOVER, Ala. – No one gives a damn about your sneakers, Dan Mullen.

Mississippi State’s football coach delivered what might’ve been the most tone-deaf performance in the history of SEC Media Days on Tuesday afternoon at The Wynfrey Hotel, where he repeatedly told reporters about his “swagged out” Yeezy Boost kicks. He should’ve come ready to talk punches.

But when it came time to answer for his and the school’s decision to admit 5-star recruit Jeffery Simmons with a weak, one-game suspension – despite video of him standing over a woman and striking her repeatedly – Mullen delivered a pathetic performance.

Good news for Dan Mullen, his kicks stole the show at SEC Media Days for at least 5 minutes.

Bad news, he proceeded to step up to the podium and give what might go down as one of the most tone-deaf press conferences in the history of the event.

Quick refresher, he’s talking about 5 star recruit Jeffrey Simmons, last seen doing this:

He apologized, was hit with a one (1) game suspension by Ole Miss, and it was chalked up to “five seconds of a really poor choice caught on video.”

Those five seconds again, in GIF view.

Here’s his presser:

What if it was your wife or your daughter in that video, being punched by a 6-foot-4, 310-pound defensive lineman? Would you still feel the same about Simmons? Still punish him as lightly?

“I’m thrilled to have him in our family, because I think he’s a young man that deserves an opportunity in life, and I have an opportunity to help mold him,” Mullen started saying.

So what if it was a member of your actual family on the ground?

“I don’t know,” Mullen said, “I don’t think it would be my family. I don’t deal in hypotheticals, really, so, um – but anybody, I mean, in the video, I don’t know that my family would be in that situation, to be honest with you.”

“Obviously,” Mullen went on to say, “I’m very strongly against any violence.”

…Of all the jersey numbers, Simmons was listed as No. 36 on Mississippi State’s official roster released this week – a stunning decision, considering the meaning of that number to that program. It belonged to former Bulldog Nick Bell, who died of cancer in 2010.

No one has worn No. 36 at MSU since the end of that season, when players took turns donning it to honor Bell. And now it belongs to Simmons?

“That’s not finalized yet,” Mullen said.

He should’ve just stopped there. But the man apparently can’t help himself.

“With retired numbers,” Mullen said, “I learned this as a young coach at Syracuse University, where it’s a very special honor to wear the number 44, the best way you can honor numbers is by having people wear them.”

To be clear…absolutely NOBODY is surprised with the length (or lack thereof) of the suspension. Nobody would have been shocked if he didn’t miss a single game. This is SEC Football and only the most naive, idealistic, clueless dumbass would expect anything short of murder to keep an awesome football player who can win games off the field.

Is it just too much to ask that the coach making $4 million a year prep himself to come up with some better answers for the one question he is absolutely positive he will be asked about?

Wait a minute…

It’s Bielema from the rafters!!

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[h/t SEC Country]