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J.R. Smith Showing Up To The Cavs Parade With A T-Shirt On Broke My Damn Heart

There is really no way to look at this video with anything other than abject disappointment, right? I was expecting the J.R. Smith Celebration Tour to go at a grueling pace (h/t Oregon Trail) until at least mid-August. That meant nothing but dousing chicks with champagne and his seed while creating a mini baby boom that resulted in at least a dozen babies belonging to J.R. popping out around the Cleveland city limits over the next 9 months or so. We even had video of J.R. last night still shirtless, singing We Are The Champions with Kevin Love.

Instead we get a nice crispy white shirt before today’s parade, without a hint of a champagne stain right before what is either the beginning or the climax of the biggest party in Cleveland history. Even the mainstream media had acknowledged how great J.R. going TOFTB was.

Everyone knows that when the wildcard of your crew pops the top, shit’s about to go down. Instead we get what appears to be an at least relatively sober J.R. Smith hiding that mix of great and absolutely awful tattoos. And while I still have my popcorn ready for J.R.’s performance during and after the parade, the “perfect game” of partying I expected him to throw has already been broken up less than 72 hours after he won his first NBA championship. Sad!