I Think Little Marco Rubio Was Drunk On Twitter Last Night?
Funny to read about unnamed “people close” to me who claim to know my thinking on future plans.They just make it up. https://t.co/jiEYMugVHz
— Marco Rubio (@marcorubio) May 17, 2016
Unnamed sources “close to” often just people who want to sound like they are in the know. And reporters desperate for content just accept it
— Marco Rubio (@marcorubio) May 17, 2016
Flashback to another article quoting a “longtime friend” saying I “hate” Senate. Words I have NEVER said to anyone. https://t.co/VZ9J7wznsZ
— Marco Rubio (@marcorubio) May 17, 2016
Word of advice, people often claim to know more than they really do because they enjoy status of being perceived as “in the know”.
— Marco Rubio (@marcorubio) May 17, 2016
Another genius line claims that Im “a bit at sea in terms of his next step politically”. Ummmm Not really. https://t.co/jiEYMugVHz
— Marco Rubio (@marcorubio) May 17, 2016
I have only said like 10000 times I will be a private citizen in January.
— Marco Rubio (@marcorubio) May 17, 2016
As for future in politics, well it’s nearly impossible for someone not in office to ever become a successful candidate for President.Right?
— Marco Rubio (@marcorubio) May 17, 2016
A source “close to Rubio” says he was tired after long day & has decided to sleep for a few hours before tomorrow’s ZIKA debate in Senate.
— Marco Rubio (@marcorubio) May 17, 2016
A “longtime friend” says Rubio is “betwixt and between when it comes to whether to chest or legs tomorrow at gym.”
— Marco Rubio (@marcorubio) May 17, 2016
According to source who knows his cousins, wife’s dentist, Rubio could do cardio instead.
— Marco Rubio (@marcorubio) May 17, 2016
Ok that’s enough for one night. Twitter isn’t something you should just rush back into. You have to slowly increase the dosage…….
— Marco Rubio (@marcorubio) May 17, 2016
Look, real-life stuff is hard enough for these politicians. They can’t hold normal conversations. They can’t order normally at local food joints. They can’t reenact scenes from Hoosiers without fucking up what basketball players shoot at. They can’t throw like a normal person in cornhole (or stand anywhere near the right place).
Can’t throw a football without killing a small child.
So if real-life stuff is hard enough, they’ve got no chance on twitter. NO CHANCE. The place will chew you up and spit you out in one tweet, let alone 11 where your wavelengths are everywhere from bitching about thin journalism to making up fake reports about being betwixt over leg day or chest day. This is yet another place where Trump has a huge advantage. He’s been just a regular person (billionaire) private citizen on twitter for years: making fun of people, RT’ing really crazy shit and getting a few laughs. That’s what twitter is all about. You make people laugh and digress into mean conversations with people you’ve never met.
And then Marco pulling the classic “mad girlfriend” move, saying they’re tired and going to sleep but then something pops up in their head and they rattle off 3 more messages? Bad look. Bad, baaaaad look. I always thought Trump was a little unnecessarily belittling with the “Little Marco” nickname but now I think he was all over it.