I Think Little Marco Rubio Was Drunk On Twitter Last Night?



Look, real-life stuff is hard enough for these politicians. They can’t hold normal conversations. They can’t order normally at local food joints. They can’t reenact scenes from Hoosiers without fucking up what basketball players shoot at. They can’t throw like a normal person in cornhole (or stand anywhere near the right place).

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Can’t throw a football without killing a small child.


So if real-life stuff is hard enough, they’ve got no chance on twitter. NO CHANCE. The place will chew you up and spit you out in one tweet, let alone 11 where your wavelengths are everywhere from bitching about thin journalism to making up fake reports about being betwixt over leg day or chest day. This is yet another place where Trump has a huge advantage. He’s been just a regular person (billionaire) private citizen on twitter for years: making fun of people, RT’ing really crazy shit and getting a few laughs. That’s what twitter is all about. You make people laugh and digress into mean conversations with people you’ve never met.

And then Marco pulling the classic “mad girlfriend” move, saying they’re tired and going to sleep but then something pops up in their head and they rattle off 3 more messages? Bad look. Bad, baaaaad look. I always thought Trump was a little unnecessarily belittling with the “Little Marco” nickname but now I think he was all over it.