Hawk Harrelson Left the Booth Mid-Broadcast Yesterday To Save Todd Frazier

Look, we already knew Hawk was a world class athlete. If he it weren’t for hemorrhoids festering inside his asshole, he would have won the Triple Crown in 1968. You know how many baseball players have accomplished that feat? 17 in the history of the game. He also decided he wanted to be a pro golfer. Only missed the British Open cut by 1 stroke.

Hawk was also undoubtedly one of the great cocksman in baseball history as well. Having played a handful of seasons in Boston, there’s a good shot a lot of you reading this are his grandson. Not bad genes to have, if we’re being honest.

What we didn’t know is that the Hawkeroo has a passionate side as well. We found that out yesterday. One would think that for someone who has the athleticism of MJ and Leo-like skills with women, he’d have a heart as black as Kueth Duanny. Yesterday Todd Frazier dove into the stands in attempt to make a Juan Uribe-esque catch, bit through his lip, and the Hawk knew it was himself and himself only that could save him. Is there anything the man can’t do? At this point it’s safe to say he’s more than a man, but less than a god. Prove me wrong, you can’t. Hawk is the GOAT