So if you missed yesterday’s rundown, Pres yet again was obsessed with something Kevin or I was wearing. It feels like every day that he comments on a hat, shirt, t-shirt, whatever. Personally I couldn’t tell you a single shirt any of my friends have ever worn in their life. I just don’t pay attention to those type of things, but Dave has a catalogue of all my clothes at this point, obsession would be putting it lightly. Feels like something I should watch out for, getting a little creepy.
The point of this blog though is to ask the simple question. Does Dave think that the white guy plaid look is unique to him? I think he does. I think he’s become such an egomaniac that he thinks plaid shirts are his thing. Newsflash, any middle class white dude who is out of college wears white guy plaid. It’s literally all we do. We’re not hipsters, we’re not black guys with style, we’re not West Coast people who innovate. We’re too young to give up on life and too old to wear college kid t-shirts. We’re basic ass bitches who buy the same 8-10 shirts from J. Crew, Banana Republic and UntuckIt. The only thing that changes is sometimes I get red checkers instead of blue, or sometimes the boxes are big and sometimes they’re small. But the white guy plaid look is the most regular look in the world. It’s basically all we have. The shirt that isn’t the dress shirt you wear to work and isn’t a t-shirt, aka every guy’s bar shirt. We’re an army of average dudes looking completely average.
I think the real issue is Dave is paying 400 bucks for his plaid shirts so he thinks he’s stylish, little does he realize he comes out looking exactly like the rest of us. He thinks he’s a peacock or a guy that stands out, a participation trophy kid that feels like he’s special, totally lacking the self awareness to realize he’s a lemming just like the rest of us. And It’s not a bad thing, it’s just something you accept after you go to a packed bar and realize every white dude is dressed exactly like you are. I dress like the most stereotypical white guy on earth, there isn’t anything I can do about it except embrace it and try to get as many different plaid combos as possible. I’m not trying to be a hero, I’m not trying to break the mold, I’m just trying to wear a shirt that let’s me blend when I want to get drunk on the weekend. I’m white guy plaid until I die (or get old enough to wear sweatsuits in public without it being ironic).
I still don’t think Dave realizes I wore the same shirt two times in one week just to fuck with him. We’ll have it be our little secret.