It wouldn’t be right to start this day any different. Wishing everybody’s favorite golfer a big happy 5-0.
Here’s what I said last year on his birthday and it’s all still 100% true:
Your favorite golfer. Your Dad’s favorite golfer. Your favorite golfer’s favorite golfer. The greatest American, living or dead. An inspiration to fat golfers and fat Americans everywhere. I’d even venture to say he’s even the greatest human being to ever exist. He’s a hard-drinking, chain-smoking, long-hitting whale of a man who women want and men want to be. The man who lost over $55 million+ in gambling in his life. The man who drinks 75 diet cokes a day. The man with countless ex wives. The man who has hit on more Hooters waitresses than there are stars in the sky. Here’s to 49 more you beautiful bastard. If you live your life by one motto, live it by this. Hit It Hard. No layin’ up, no holdin’ back. That’s how JD does it.
The beauty of John Daly is that he never changes. Never has never will. We’ll be able to say those exact same things about him a year from now, ten years from now and fifty years from now. There’s no doubt in my mind that JD lives to 100 years old. If he was supposed to die, he would’ve died already. Whoever decides who lives and dies has had over a million chances to kill off John and they haven’t. Hell, he had a heart attack this last year and was out on the golf course the next day. I wouldn’t be at al surprised if Daly is the first human to live forever. Just a beautiful hunk of a man.
USA Today interviewed Daly as his 50th birthday approached and you should read the whole thing but there are some gems in there
John Daly on sex
“Look, you’re loyal to me and you have sex when I want to have sex, then I won’t cheat on you.”
John Daly on drinking (this is my favorite by far. He’s not saying he’ll never drink again. He’s saying he’ll never say he’s never drinking again. That’s as John Daly as it gets)
“The dumbest thing I ever said is that I’d never drink again,” Daly said. “But that’s what I was feeling at that moment. I know I would never say that again.
John Daly on Tiger Woods from CNN
The big-hitting Daly, a two-time major champion, recalls he was enjoying some drinks in the clubhouse on the eve of the 2004 Target World Challenge when Woods came in.
“Tiger’s there in his workout clothes and I said, Tiger, come have a beer with us, man,” Daly, who turned 50 Thursday, told the Golf Channel.
Woods declined, saying he was going to the gym, but Daly persisted.
“I go, Man, you don’t need to work out,” Daly said. “You need to drink a little bit with us.”
Woods’s response left Daly shaking his head.
“(Woods) said, If I had your talent I’d be doing the same thing you’re doing,” Daly said. “I’m looking at him thinking, ‘You’re crazy, man.'”
And that’s how we’ll leave it. With Tiger being envious of John Daly’s talent. Happy 50th birthday you beautiful bastard. Here’s to 500 more.