Welcome back to the weekly round-up Barstool Ombudsman column, where we take a look at the week that was and answer your questons about the site. As always, if you have any you’d like to see answered send them to BarstoolOmbudsman@Gmail.com. Let me start off though by addressing the recent activities of one David Portnoy.
After his adventures at SXSW, I’m pretty sure that Dave is on a TSA watchlist now. Need to talk to his dad about the legalities of smoking weed for 2 days straight on Vine, hanging out with guys who are roofie-ing themselves, and just basically having a bath salts induced schizophrenic break/midlife crisis for all the world to see. I havent seen a guy from Massachusetts lose his mind on video like that since the Zapruder film folks. No offense.
The more I think about it, the more I actually think this was a calculated move on his part, and he may have just outsmarted the entire world. Since Dave was too high to understand what was going on in all of those clips, he could legally claim that those videos were recorded without his knowledge. Its impossible to enter into a contract when your under the influence, so the fact that they were posted to Barstool without his consent means that Dave could technically pull a Hogan, and sue Chernin media group and wind up getting a huge settlement. You talk about playing the long con on someone well here it is in action folks- When Dave had Chernin buy Barstool, he put in whats known in mergers and aquisitions as a “poison pill” for them to swallow. In this case, the poison pill was Dave himself. Next step he files a lawsuit, and is awarded $125 Million in civil damages and he has basically flipped Barstool to himself over the course of two months for like a %2000 profit. It could end up being the shrewdest business move of all time on his part. You guys watch Billions on Showtime? This play by El Pres is a business manuever that makes Bobby Axelrod look like he’s running a brothel out of a leper colony.
On to your questions:
We’ll start off with a humdinger in the comment section of a KFC column:
First of all thoughts and prayers to Barstool Commenter “Unit 91″ for not being allowed to use the N-Word in the comment section of a sports blog. I’m sorry for your loss.
My guess is that Unit 91, like so many of us, spends basically his whole day pissed off that he cant drop racial slurs online and wedges it in to any conversation like Bernie Sanders complaining about “wall street” when his wife asks him to comb his hair for the guests that are coming over.
Freedom of the press basically means that KFC can post whatever objectionable shit he wants as long as it is more probable then not that the people in the post wont sue him. In this case, the blog was a guy dodging a train on camera showing off for his friend and it ended poorly for him, and its pretty hard for a guy to find a lawyer to represent you when you cant even find your head. Smart calculated move by KFC on that one to cover his legal bases. So yes although I didnt watch the video, it is still legal to show it.
Likewise, your free to excercise your constitutional right to free speech to whatever extent you desire. Feel free to celebrate enthusiastically with friends when someone who worked for a sports blog that wouldn’t let you use the N-Word in the comment section’s wife dies tragically. That is your right.
First, as a former SB Nation employee and current Barstool Ombudsman, are you going to try in your position to bring previous conflicts to a rest, or reinvegorate old beefs? Any plans on collaborations specifically focused on long-forms humanizing convicted felons?Second, you haven’t been asking Bernie and Hillary the hard questions on Baby Hitler throughout this campaign. Does this show your #SECbias towards not asking Democrats the important questions as Barstool Chief Political Correspondent?Go Jets, Fuck Brady-Karl
Got in a heated debate in the comments section of Facebook and wanted to get your take. Can you or can you not personally attack someone you know in the comments section of Facebook. It was my understanding that if you don’t know them then it’s absolutely fine to attack them? Any thoughts ?-Nick
Will the Barstool App ever get fixed?-Jessie C
I will say that the app has been a tremendous success amongst Barstool Readers who are too dumb to find the safari button on their iphones, which no offense, is not a insignificant demographic. But in terms of will it ever get fixed? Yeah you might see it improve or you might just see like a mobile optimization of the homepage but if you have 5 HTMLs do you really have 1? Tough to say.