I Need This Dick Hype Man In My Squad So Badly

I need this guy as my dick hype man so bad it’s not even funny. Walk into a bar? He gon pull da dick out! The office? He gon pull da dick out! Any situation at all, this guy just starts yelling about my dick. Because you know what? Now I’m intrigued. Now I need to see this guy’s dick. What’s so special about it? Why’s his friend want him to show it to the world so badly? What’s he hiding in there? I need to know. He’s created a dick mystery and I need to read the last chapter. That’s textbook romancing, my friends. Get a little buzz going, get some people thinking about it, suddenly the whole world wants to see your package. Pull da dick out, man! Pull it out!

PS – Love at the end where he’s just like, “Oh ok, you’re done? Fine I’ll pull mine out. I don’t care whose it is, but there’s gonna be dick on the Blue Line this morning.”

h/t Daniel