It may only be the caboose, but if he keeps dishing out winners like this we may be conducting the entire locomotive. This man has my mind in a pretzel. For his entire existence I proclaimed him Lord Of The Douche (sharing the title with Johnathon Pappelbon, respectfully) until he whipped out the A+++ story of how he got blacked out and arrested at a Cabaret. It was then I realized we truly weren’t that different after all. Sure he’s still an artsy farter with a rat-tail that would be put out to stud for hipsters to reproduce, but I don’t know. I thought it would be impossible to get his vibe, but I kind of do now. He’s a man who marches to the beat of his own drum and doesn’t give a FUCK. Shia will say what he wants, do what he wants and stare the shit out of whoever he wants. Those eyes can pierce directly through the soul.