CNN- Sometimes, it’s best to stick with the classics. The makers of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups have no trouble persuading people to stuff their faces with chocolate-covered treats in circular form (or as pieces). Why bother, then, shaping those delicious morsels into Christmas trees — at the risk of failing miserably?
Maybe time will show it to be a shrewd marketing move; in the meantime, the confectioner’s alleged Peanut Butter Trees are drawing comparisons to “turds,” turning them into a subject of social media ridicule.
The company is apologizing one tweet at a time to consumers who are sharing images of misshapen candy trees with mocking comments. “What part of this looks like a Christmas tree?” one person asked. “#christmastree more like #christmasturd,” said another.
Jesus Christ, idiots will find a way to complain about anything these days, huh? The good people at Reese’s decide to get a little festive by sprucing up God’s greatest gift to humanity into holiday shapes and we go ahead and complain about them?!?! These are the types of people that would complain about a blowjob for no good reason (Good reason = Using lots of teeth, btw). It is embarrassing and I will not stand for it.
Much like Santa Coke compared to regular Coke, for whatever reason, holiday shaped Reese’s taste jussssssst a little bit better than regular Reese’s. Pumpkins, trees, eggs, etc. Hell, if they actually made a poop shaped Reese’s, I would eat it without thinking twice. And how do these people even notice what their peanut butter cup looks like? I haven’t once had the self control to examine a freshly opened Reese’s before I throw it down my gullet. Why should I care what it actually looks like?
In fact, I would still eat a Reese’s Christmas Tree even if it had parts of actual trees inside of it. Load that son of a bitch up with pine needles, sap, and Christmas ornaments to go along with that magical orgy of chocolate and peanut butter. I don’t know how we could do it, but if you complain about the shape of your Reese’s peanut butter cup, you should never be allowed to eat one again. Is that a punishment equal to the death penalty? Maybe. But tell me these Grinches don’t deserve it.
Lastly, to prove I am not speaking out of line here, I kind of consider myself a junk food connoisseur. Here is a list of my 15 second food reviews, which I ran on my old blog. Just a half-faced man with his double chins spitting the truth on all the rubbish that junk food companies sling these days. Simply click the Playlist icon in the upper-lefthand corner of the video below to choose a review or just push play.
KFC Editors Note: Clem’s Greek Gyro potato chips review is must watch. Its like the 4th or 5th one on the playlist. Clem is too humble of a man to tell you this but his buddy’s children make their dad play the Snack Review Playlist on loop for them. Clem is like a real life Shrek when it comes to eating snacks.