The Jets New Incentive On The Road: Sweats On The Plane!

Sweats on the motherfuckin plane! The new Jets motto when you get a road W. You walk into an opposing stadium in a helmet and pads, handle your business, and you walk out of there in sweats. Thats the best incentive I’ve ever seen in the work place. Its like Casual Friday in the office except times one billion. If we’re being dead serious sweatpants are like the most important thing in my life. I have a rotation of 3 main pairs of sweats along with about 50 others in the drawers and closets. Obviously I wear them all day every day working from home. And it is hands DOWN the single greatest perk of working from home. That, and furiously masturbating. But putting the sweats on after that session is just delightful.

I’m at the point in life where jeans and other casual pants dont even cut it any more. Like if I’m out to dinner or out for a few beers and I’m in some denim I’m might as well be in prison. When I get home I’m legit back in sweats in under 45 seconds. I get rid of the jeans as fast as I can like they are practically on fire.

And all this shit goes double, quadruple, times a billion when we’re talking about being on an airplane. If I was on a plane in uncomfortable pants I’d probably just pray for a plane crash. So if I’m a football player and the pot of gold at the end of my rainbow is Sweats On The Plane, you better believe I’m coming home with a W. I would fucking run through a brick wall if need be. Be as focused as possible. No mistakes. Force 9,000 turnovers a game. Whatever it takes. The thought of flying home in a suit or something like that is far more painful that coming home with a loss.

We dont need Rex’s bravado anymore. We dont need any fucking snacks. We got sweats. Sweats on the plane bitches!