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Yeah, So, Getting Eaten Alive By A Croc Looks Like One Miserable Way To Go

Crikey! Yeah, so getting clamped by a living Dinosaur then deathrolled into bolivion doesn’t seem like an ideal way to leave this world. Props to Chubbs for only losing a hand and still taking an eye out of one of these things. Seems like a lost cause. Still, I’d rather dance with one of these beasts than a lot of other things in the animal kingdom. Specifically those freak of natures that are know as Hippos –

Hey childhood advertisers, thanks for the head’s up. Here I am assuming Hippopautamouses are harmless, cute water creatures whose sole fault is having big appetites. I didn’t know these fuckers are one of the deadliest animals on the planet. Here I am bashing crocs when there are man eaters that weigh 3.5 tons and clock in with sub 4.0 40’s out there. Look at this thing go. I haven’t seen that kind of closing speed since Deion in his prime. That bastard is the Primetime of Hippos. So much for planning that African river ride I was never going to take.