BREAKING: Nation Goes Crazy After Best Sports City In America Finally Plays Shitty Game
Dustin Satloff. Getty Images.Heavy is the crown.
Philly is on top of the sports world right now. The Phillies are playing in the NLCS for the 2nd straight year. The Eagles were the last remaining undefeated team in the NFL about a minute after kickoff today once the 49ers lost to the Cleveland Browns (arguably more embarrassing than losing to the Jets). When you're at the top, everybody below you is praying for your downfall. It's just the way life goes. People hate to see others succeed because deep down inside, human beings are gigantic pieces of shit who are rotten and selfish to our core. We want that success for ourselves, and the fact that others have it makes us sick. So you have the entire world rooting against Philly.
The Eagles just gave them something to really cheer about after they just shit their pants, pissed down their leg, and vomited all over themselves. That game was disgusting. No two ways about it. It was pretty much the exact nonsensical shit we saw in their loss to Washington at home last year. A ton of ugly turnovers, awful decision making, missed kicks, and just overall lack of urgency to turn it around. Now last year's loss to Washington certainly seemed like more of a fluke game compared to the rest of the season than this Jets loss feels right now. So far this season the Eagles were able to rack up wins, but they hadn't played a complete game yet. They are still dealing with awful play calling in the red zone, and seemingly a refusal to put teams away once they get up early. They have the chance to step on teams throats, but they just constantly let them stick around for the whole game. It's troubling, and it finally bit them in the ass today.
But think about how much the Eagles had to do to lose today. They had to turn the ball over 4 times, one of which was easily the worst throw that Jalen has made in the past 3 years. They had to lose half their starters to injury either before or during the game. They needed to lose Lane Johnson. They needed to have an egregious drop from a typically sure-handed DeVonta Smith. They needed a missed field goal from Jake Elliott. The Eagles gave that game away like 15 times throughout the game, and it took them until the final 2 minutes to actually lose it. The Eagles are still a good football team, they just played like complete and total shit today from the moment they scored their 2nd touchdown.
But that's not going to stop the rest of the country from celebrating their dicks off. They saw the top dog get taken down a notch, and they love it. That's just the way it goes when you're at the top, and it should be expected. Heck, it should feel good for this many people to be happy just to see a Philly team lose. There have been plenty of downright awful years in Philly sports all across the board, where a Philly team losing was just another day in the office. Nothing to bat an eye at. And now just beating a Philly team is like the Super Bowl to some fans. This win is going to give the Jets fanbase life for the entire season, when it was just a random Sunday to us.
Sidenote: I feel terrible for the Diamondbacks. There was really no reason for Phillies fans to go to Citizens Bank Park tomorrow out for blood, because there's nothing super hatable about this Arizona team. But now this city is on the sharpest of edges, and they just happen to be coming to the wrong place at the wrong time.