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Someone Tracked All The Goals Scored In The "Mighty Ducks" Trilogy And Turns Out Charlie Conway Was Incredibly Mid

Whenever you talk about The Mighty Ducks, Charlie Conway is always going to be one of the first names brought to the table. And for good reason--he was Captain Duck. He was supposedly the straw who stirred the drink. Disregard the fact that he literally walked out on the team in D3, but he was the one making sure all the ducks were flying in the same direction. 

For years now, however, a part of me has always had this sneaking suspicion that Conway wasn't actually any good. The dude was a healthy scratch in the gold medal game of the 1994 Junior Goodwill Games, for pete's sake. Biggest game of his life and he's health bombing himself? What a bender. 

Now that's always just been my eye test on the situation. I've never actually dove into the numbers to assess Charlie Conway's game. Fortunately, though, someone on the internet has. And they went ahead and tracked every goal scored in the Mighty Ducks trilogy. You can read the whole thing here, but here's a quick breakdown of all the goal scorers. 

Conway is tied for 3rd on the team with 3 goals scored in the entire trilogy. But 2 of those goals came against the Blake Bears JV team before Eden Hall JV blew a 9-0 lead in the 3rd period. And keep in mind that selfish prick Conway tried to pick up his hat trick on an empty net with less than 30 seconds to go instead of just running out the clock to win 9-8. He missed, Blake took it down the other end of the ice and tied the game 9-9 at the buzzer. 

Granted, his only other goal happened to be one of the biggest goals of the entire trilogy when he scored on a penalty shot to beat the Hawks in the Minnesota State Peewee Hockey Championship. 

But the triple deke is such a cheat code that anybody could have scored that. There's not a goalie on the planet who can stop the triple deke. You could have even thrown Karp's dumbass out there and he would have scored if he broke out the triple deke. 

So Charlie Conway had 2 goals in the most pathetic game in the trilogy, one big goal using a cheat code, and healthy scratched himself when there was a gold medal on the line because he was too afraid to play against big bad Team Iceland again. Don't get me wrong--I know you don't need to fill up the stat sheet to be a great leader. But the more you look into it, the more you realize Charlie Conway probably only ever got the 'C' slapped on his sweater in the first place is because Bombay was piping his mom. If Mrs. Conway wasn't getting railed by ol' Gordo, there's a chance that Charlie spends his entire career on the Ducks as a 4th liner. 

In summation: Charlie Conway was mid. No two ways about it. 

A couple other points of interest--Fulton Reed was the only player to score a goal in all 3 movies. What a free agency pickup from Bombay that turned out to be. Say what you want about Gordon Bombay as a role model and influence on kids, but the man was one hell of a youth hockey general manager. 

Adam Banks obviously led the way with 8 goals through 3 movies. But I bet if Guy Germaine didn't spend half the trilogy trying to get into Connie Moreau's pants, he would have been right up there with him. Guy was such a beauty. Unreal talent, but could just never stay focused on the game.