I Don't Think Dave Is Mad At Nate

Dave's not that mad at Nate. That's the blog. That's the whole blog. This is where we are now. I spend hours writing and reworking a blog about how Taylor Lewan doesn't dress himself. It goes to #1 for about 45 minutes. Then Nate writes one and a quarter paragraphs about how Dave is mad at him, and that blog immediately supplants my Taylor Lewan blog. Am I salty? Sure. I blame you people. You guys prefer to read about how Dave is mad at Nate over a 1,000-word, well-crafted, joke-heavy portrait of a beautiful man. I feel like a chef at a restaurant who wants to experiment with new dishes and rework the menu to incorporate seasonal vegetables, but the customers keep coming back for the chicken and waffles. It's the chicken and waffles! It's our signature dish. We've been serving it for twenty fucking years. 

Here's a little formula I've learned: "Dave" + "Angry" = pageviews. Every time. Simple math. You guys gave us that formula. You don't even want to see a menu; just bring out the chicken and waffles. So we'll keep cheffing up chicken and waffles for you. 

If you wonder why KB and Nick don't blog anymore, it's because of this formula. There is no reason for them to waste their brilliance cooking chicken and waffles. I have a blog quota, so I'll cook chicken and waffles here and there (last week I wrote a quota blog about an actress who eats some dude's ass and it was the #1 blog of the week… which is fucking sad). But I'm going to keep throwing in a hamachi crudo or a cornish game hen over root vegetables when the mood strikes because, Goddammit, I'll go nuts if I'm forced to only cook chicken and waffles. 

In sum, Dave is not that mad at Nate.