Who The Fuck is Jenks?
If you're keeping up with Rough n' Rowdy, you've probably seen that a man named Jenks is fighting for Frank The Tank's honor tonight in Rough n' Rowdy 22. Long story short, the shittiest of the Abel brothers was supposed to fight some dude named Trailer Trash Dave Portnoy (or something like that), but Trailer Trash Dave got a concussion and isn't allowed to fight. Many people are saying he has a weak brain. So the Abel kid needed an opponent. As luck would have it, the Abel brothers have a long history of talking shit to Frank, which in the Barstool world means he deserves federal prison.
Pat wrote a whole blog about how much these zero talent inbreds fucking suck, but if you haven't seen it, here are some of the highlights to give you a quick breakdown of Frank vs the Worthless Abel Trash people.
Advertisement
I'll be 100% honest with you. Jenks has always kinda rubbed me the wrong way. This is probably unfair of me to think, and I'm very likely wrong about his situation, but from where I was sitting I always felt like Jenks bought his way into Barstool.
I'm not even sure how Jenks came about, but at some point on the Yak, Jenks started buying courtside seats (and if not courtside, still really good seats) to random sporting events in New York. Mostly Knicks games I think. The Yak took him up on his offer, and he got to go to Knicks games with multiple (if not every) members of the Yak. He got to be involved in Yak content in general.
So he's been in the Barstool world for a while now. Again, I didn't love the idea that a seemingly rich guy could just buy his way into Barstool. I think you should win your way into Barstool via contest like a professional. And to be fair, the only thing I know about Jenks' backstory is from what I've read online.
Advertisement
According to Wikipedia, his dad was a high ranking member of the UN, and his brother had his own MTV show called World of Jenks. So based on that I thought, "Ok so this rich guy with everything handed to him used his money to get involved with Barstool". Which I really shouldn't be mad about in the first place. That's just capitalism. That's how the world works, and everybody knows that.
But since then, he teamed up with Frank The Tank. He's gone on a handful of trips with him, and gone to several sporting events. He films a lot of stuff for Frank. He filmed this classic Frank video of Frank declaring his allegiance to the New York Knicks.
So Jenks was a part of the Yak all the sudden. And I first I was annoyed. But still that's not cool of me say. It's not cool of me to hold that against him. By ALL accounts Jenks is a great guy. I realized that I was just being a salty bitch, and if anything I was jealous of his standing with The Yak. Jenks obviously provides a much needed service to Frank, and everyone at Barstool should be appreciative of that. Frank literally keeps the lights on here, so anything that is good for Frank is good for the company. Plus, Jenks has been nothing but respectful of everybody here.
And since I learned yesterday that Jenks was fighting in Franks honor, he's fully won me over. I will forever be a pro Frank guy, and the fact that these piece of shit low-life uncoordinated wastes of oxygen Abel brothers are talking shit on Frank's name is ridiculous. If you boiled down everything the Abel brothers have accomplished in their entire lives, it wouldn't even touch the amount of success Frank has in a single day on Cameo. Frank accomplishes more every hour than they have will in their entire lives.
So fuck the Abel sisters (boom roasted). I'm team Jenks all the way. Jenks, if you're reading this, I'm sorry if I was cold to you that one time you were in the office. If you beat the fuck out of that piece of shit Abel bitch tonight, I'll buy you drinks next time you're in the office. Not that you need me to.