Please accept this series of hot twin GIFs and Haley & Hanna Cavinder posts as an apology for what I am about to show you.
Big Cat has long had the theory that all identical twins have kissed each other on the lips at some point in their life. I think his thinking is that if you have somebody with all the same genes as you, and looks identical to you in every way, then… you want to kiss them I guess? Maybe it's that they're curious as to what it's like to kiss themselves, and that's the only way to find out? I'm honestly not even sure what his theory is based in. Maybe he's just watched too much porn.
Anyways, last night we had a development in the world of kissin' twins. Once again, I am very sorry for this, but I consider myself a Big J journalist. A man of news, if you will. As a man of news, it's my job to report on what's happening in the world, and something went down last night that lends credence to Big Cat's long held theory. And it is the polar opposite of whatever twin related sexual fantasy you freaks have going on in your head. See if you can guess who it is.
I'm warning you now, if you don't want to see this, DO NOT scroll past the next 4 stock images of twins I found in the backend of our blog.
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ﾚ ノ ヽつ This is your last chance. Can't say I didn't warn you…
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It's "The Island Boys" - CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!
It makes perfect sense if you think about it. An obscure non-celebrity pair of twins who embody the phrase "15 minutes of fame". I wonder what got them to this point. At what point did one of them think, "You know what, I think shoving my tongue down my brothers throat would be a good career move for us." I picture the 2 of them sitting together at a comically large conference table having the world's dumbest brainstorm session. I imagine it went something like this.
Island Boy 1: Alright brother, it's been well over a year since we blessed the internet with our hit song "Island Boy". Everybody in the world has forgotten us by now, and we are completely out of however much money we were able to siphon out of the internet in 2022. We need do something new, and we need to do it fast.
Island Boy 2: Should we post a picture of us flashing someone else's money in front of a sports car that is also not ours?
Island Boy 1: We've been doing that consistently for the past year and it doesn't seem to be working
Island Boy 2: Yeah I don't get that. It seems like such a cool thing to do.
Island Boy 1: We need to think bigger. Should we go on Dr. Phil?
Island Boy 2: What? No that's a weird request.
Island Boy 1: There's no such thing as a bad idea.
Island Boy 2: Yes there is. What if we do porn?
Island Boy 1: We can't. Our dicks don't work and they're small.
Island Boy 2: I forgot about that. Well maybe a soft-core porn situation where we keep our pants on.
Island Boy 1: That could work. Who would the girl be?
Island Boy 2: Margot Robbie?
Island Boy 1: No, she's mid. How about someone we know?
Island Boy 2: Do you know any girls? I've never talked to one.
Island Boy 1: My 2nd grade teacher was a girl before I dropped out of school.
Island Boy 2: Maybe we don't do porn then. How about we write a new song?
Island Boy 1: No that sounds hard. Let's keep thinking…
Island Boy 2:
Island Boy 1:
Island Boy 2:
Island Boy 1: Wanna suck face?
Island Boy 2: Yes
Unfortunately for the Island Boys, I'm pretty sure a couple of tweets with a few thousand likes and a shitty blog written by the least significant blogger at Barstool Sports is going to be all they get out of this incest endeavor. I can't imagine that translates to any sort of financial gain. But maybe if they really stick with it and make incest their brand, then eventually they'll find their way into some sicko portion of the internet that's into that sort of thing. But they're going to have to fix their small soft dick problem if they really want to make some waves. Cue the music.
DISCLAIMER: All allegations of The Island Boys having small soft dicks are alleged and not based in fact, I'm just trying to put two and two together here.