The Elon v Zuck Nerd Fight Of The Millennium Could Now Reportedly Take Place In The Roman Colosseum As The Two Have Been Working Out The Details With Dana White "Daily"
I can't believe this is what my life has become. The Elon Musk vs Mark Zuckerberg fight beat is a lonely place. I look at myself in the mirror every night and ask how I got here. This is my third blog about these two wannabe evil genius mega dorks and their online pissing contest. So if one of these assholes doesn't end up choking out the other at some point I might try and fight them both myself.
In case you have been living under a rock, Elon challenged Zuck to a cage fight and then proceeded to have his buddy tell the world how much of a karate master he is. I have embarrassed my family on many occasions but I'm not sure it has ever been to this level. Are you not entertained, mom?
But the plot is now getting thicker than Elon Musk's moobs. Supposedly the Italian Government reached out and offered up the Roman Colosseum so these two dweebs could cosplay like actual Roman warriors. Even though they are now denying that they made such an offer...
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TMZ - This will blow your mind -- an official from the government of Italy contacted Mark Zuckerberg about staging a UFC fight against Elon Musk at the most legendary battleground in the world ... Rome's Colosseum ... TMZ Sports has learned.
Sources with direct knowledge tell us ... the Minister of Culture reached out to Zuckerberg a few days ago about staging what could be the biggest fight in the history of the world in the most fabled fight theater in history.
UPDATE - The Ministry of Culture's Office issued a statement saying, "There has been no formal contact from the ministry nor any written document, even if the news appears tasty it is unfounded." Sources with direct knowledge confirm again ... the Ministry first reached out to Mark Zuckerberg, then the request was forwarded to Dana White, and there was a follow-up and a call was set for next week. The Ministry added, "If Zuckerberg and Musk wanted to perform in the Colosseum they would have to make a non-violent challenge." Our sources are scoffing at this, saying the Ministry reached out BECAUSE of the fight challenge.
Whether the Italian Government denies it or not there must be something to this because even Musk tweeted about the possibility.
Every word I type about this story makes me hate myself more and more. If this doesn't prove college is a waste of time then I don't know what does.
Anyway, the thought of Elon and Zuck dressed up as Gladiators and walking out into the Roman Colosseum as hundreds of dorks (apparently that's all that will fit in there now) scream cry like a tween at a Taylor Swift concert makes me want to vomit.
Excuse me while I choke down this shame and continue on with the story…
Multiple sources with direct knowledge tell us if you're gonna bet on whether this fight goes down … wager that it's happening. We're told both Musk and Zuck are "all in," and have been negotiating with Dana about the details of a fight daily … multiple times each day for more than a week.
The biggest obstacle is height and weight disparity, although both men have no issue with it. The question … if the fight were to go down in Vegas -- which was the goal until the Colosseum offer surfaced -- the Nevada Athletic Commission would have to sign off. Given that Zuck is 5'7" and weighs 145, and Elon towers over him at 6'2" and weighs 230, it's a little problematic. Nevertheless, this would be an exhibition fight, so the rules might bend.
Ok so Musk is bigger than Zuck. Who cares? Hasn't anyone seen the first few UFC tournaments? There was no weight classes and you fought multiple times in one night. You had sumo wrestlers getting their teeth kicked out by skinny ass kick boxers all so they could go on to be choked out by one of the 100 Gracie brothers in the championship fight.
It was awesome. And that's about the only way this fight ends up awesome too. These two need to fight to the death. I blogged before that they needed to put their respective companies on the line but that isn't enough for me now. I've lost what little pride I had left covering this feud. I need blood in return.
I am currently wiping tears from my cheeks as I type this blog because I realize this is my rock bottom. The only thing that can save me from this depression nose dive now is watching these two beat the hell out of each other in person. If this thing goes down I need to be there.
And when one of them inevitably has the other one inches away from the big control + alt + delete, I want to be the guy who makes the call, Commodus style.