Elon Musk REALLY Wants You To Know That He Is A Bad Ass Karate Master That Probably Won't Fight Mark Zuckerberg Even Though He Totally Would
I did an impromptu training session with @elonmusk for a few hours yesterday. I'm extremely impressed with his strength, power, and skill, on the feet and on the ground. It was epic. It's really inspiring to see Elon and Mark doing martial arts, but I think the world is served far better if they train martial arts but not fight in the cage. That said, as Elon says, the most entertaining outcome is the most likely... I'm there for them, no matter what.
That's right guys, a totally impromptu, not staged whatsoever martial arts training session with a podcast host that just so happens to have around 3 Million followers and a few promotional photos were taken. A completely happenstance occurrence that in no way would ever have been orchestrated by Elon Musk to prove to the world that he definitely would not get his ass kicked by Zuck.
This has big, "I would fight you but my mom said I have to be home right after school" middle school energy.
Oh you guys thought Musk should be afraid of Zuck's Brazilian Ju Jitsu skills? L O FUCKING L. Think again, my friends. And if you need any further proof here is two photos of Tacky Chan hip tossing some dude who has a lot of complimentary things to say about him. See, now don't you feel like an idiot?
In case you missed how all this started I blogged about it last week. Musk was talking all greasy on the bird app and Zuck told him he had the time today (I looked up that entire sentence on Urban Dictionary).
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But now Musk is apparently having his friends try and convince people he really isn't weak and that his whole "human oil drum of mayonnaise" look he has going on when he's shirtless is all part of his karate training.
The only thing more pathetic than Elon enlisting a research scientist from MIT to prove just how hardcore he is, was earlier this week when his mom took to Twitter to try and call off this Clash of the Man-Tittied Titans. Mamma Musk was having none of her beautiful baby boy doing hand-to-hand combat with that Facebook Cyborg.
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MOM! QUIT EMBARRASSING ME IN FRONT OF ALL MY INTERNET FRIENDS! THEY'RE GONNA START THINKING I'M A NERD AND NOT A SUPER FUNNY AND COOL GUY WHO HAS FIRE MEMES!
Can we please make this fight happen. I don't care in the slightest bit who wins but I need to see these two socially awkward nerd boys hurt each other. Everyone keeps saying Zuck is a robot but what about Elon? He is a prime lizard person candidate. If we get them in the cage and they start to inflict some real damage we could have motherboards components and reptile scales everywhere.
It would be like a really lame episode of Black Mirror. Except there isn't some underlying warning about technology ruining society because their companies already handled everything on that front. First they destroyed privacy and politeness, now watch them destroy each other's faces! UFC 300: The Silicon Valley Showdown.
Follow me @WillBurge for more Nerd Fight news