ESPN And Their Analytics Department Can Go Right To Hell For Trying To Jinx The Celtics Right Before The Eastern Conference Finals

Michael Reaves. Getty Images.

I told myself that I would give my brain 48 hours to enjoy the Celtics Game 7 win over the Sixers, but then I refreshed Twitter. Most Celtics fans understand that the journey to Banner 18 is going to be a battle. Things are going to get harder, not easier. With Playoff Jimmy Butler on the other end who has pulled off a postseason run we haven't seen since the 1999 Knicks, only a fool would underestimate the Heat at this point of the playoffs. Add in the fire from how last year's ECF went and I think we're all expecting an absolute war.

Which is why when I refreshed Twitter and saw this tweet from ESPN and their Analytics department, it left me no choice but to immediately rebuke it

No. Absolutely not. I am not doing this shit again. What might that be you ask? How could any of us forget

Nice try Pat Riley you sneaky sonofabitch. Did this really come from ESPN's Analytics department or is this clearly an attempt by Pat Riley to motivate his own team? You have to wake up pretty early in the morning to pull this past me given what I just lived through last June. One might think that I would support these type of analytics since they are so overwhelmingly in my favor. Everyone knows that you only use advanced analytics if they help support your argument. Who knows what any of them mean, but if they tell you the story you want to hear, they matter.

Not this though. Hell no. Not when a jinx could literally end your season. The Basketball Gods are ALWAYS watching. The second any fan or anyone on this team believes there is a 97% vs 3% split in this series is the second the Celtics lose. Get all the way the hell out of here with that. First of all, in a 7 game series there is no way someone can have a 97% chance to win. The playoffs are weird. Given the series we just watched the Celtics play, how on earth could any numbers put out a 97% winning percentage? Especially when these two teams just went 7 games!

If there's one thing everyone with a brain and eyes knows, it's that disrespecting Jimmy Butler is the kiss of death. You don't think he's going to see that tweet and be motivated by it? Have you ever seen/heard Jimmy Butler before? That's why this is either the work of Pat Riley or someone at ESPN is a Heat fan. I see right through this tactic and that's why I rebuke it. I've seen enough Celtics underachievement to not fall for this bullshit this time around. Who cares what the fake numbers say, it's about what you do on the court that matters. Basketball games are not won on paper, and they are not won through calculations or formulas.

So sorry ESPN/Pat Riley/random Heat fan who clearly tweeted this. I'm not taking the bait and I hope to every God imaginable that the Celtics don't either. Respect your opponent and be ready for the hardest series of this run. 

Now, if you'll excuse me I'm going back to watching Tatum drop a historic 51. We'll regroup about this series in a few days.