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Full Pardon My Take Lottery Ball Draw History Answers Question Many Are Asking

Just look at it. All 434 official Pardon My Take lottery ball draws from it's inaugural draw on August 27, 2020 until last Friday. To find Hank's winning pick, cross your eyes like it's a Magic Eye book from the 90s and eventually you'll see a 3D image of the lottery machine flipping Hank off. So many gray dots left out at sea waiting for Hank to pick them. Imagine his frustration playing Battleship as a kid. 

That makes me think. Remember in grade school there was always that one teacher who would interrupt you minding your own business by putting another layer of glue on your Pink Pearl eraser just to ask you "If I flip a quarter 100 times and tails comes up 100 times, what are the odds I'll get a heads if I flip it one more time?" Guess what motherfucker! Thanks to our hero Hank Lockwood we now know WE WE'RE RIGHT ALL ALONG! It's zero percent! You're teacher who's definitely a patsy for Big Math will tell you your wrong but that's just because they've never studied the Lockwood Theorem. 

While Hank feverishly scans the graph above looking for his name on a dot, I'll tell you he has zero correct in all 434 official draws. If you believe Big Math, the actual percent chance of failing to guess a number 1-100 on all 434 chances is 1.27%. I know Hank's all corporate now but this isn't exactly what being a 1 percenter is supposed to mean. Jake, PFT, and Billy are tied with the lead at 4 and Liam, Max, and Big Cat are at least all on the board. But Liam has changed roles and Max came on late to the game which brings up an inconvenient point for Mr. Cat:

This is a good point, but the fact of the matter is Big Cat at least won once. This is like the debate about whether you'd rather win one championship in 50 years or make the Super Bowl and lose every year. Big Cat has made his choice with the lottery machine. Much like the Twins and pick your poison Chicago MLB team. No one talks about these teams not being winners anymore because they at least one once in a fandom's lifetime.

I do feel bad for Hank though. I want him to get on the board and put an end to this nonsense once and for all. Let's take a dive into the analytics and see if there's a strategy he can take. Below is a quick histogram of every lottery draw. Each number 1-100 is on the x-axis and the number of times each number came up is on the y.

You can see middle of of the board has presented the best odds while two numbers (6 and 26) haven't been picked. So this has only happened to 2 percent of numbers which is not far away from 1.27%. Hmm. Maybe Big Math might have a point after all. Three out of the four most reoccurring numbers are in the 47-54 range. You might think this doesn't matter because everything is random. That's because you're a sheep for Big Math. Anyone that's played blackjack with an automatic "shuffler" knows better. I isolated balls 47-54 to see how many draws in-between it took for the same number to get picked again. It's not a perfect science since they do a lot of unofficial draws but work with me here. There have been 49 total draws with a number in this range and 19 of these numbers reoccurred within 21 podcast episodes. That might seem like a lot but remember this is Hank we're talking about here. Plus, we can just backtrack and find a ball from this range that was last picked about 21 ish episodes ago. Here are my picks in order of confidence for Hank:

54: Last picked 13 episodes ago on March 19th. 

50: Last picked 7 episodes ago on March 28

49: Last picked 46 episodes ago on January 10th (TOTALLY DUE!)

48: Last picked 48 episodes ago on January 5th

You got this Hank! I believe in you. Just stay right down the middle with one of these choices like filling in "c" on every Scantron test question. Don't let Big Math beat you. Make the rattling of those fucking balls that I just know you hear in your sleep stop once and for all. Deep breath. remember the game plan, and wait for your signal.

Pick a number. 

- Jeffro