MILB.com —The Lake County Captains, the coolest single-A affiliate team of the Cleveland Guardians, are stoked to announce the launch of the gnarliest first-ever 80's Arcade Suite at Classic Auto Group Park. This tubular suite allows up to 20 fans to experience the nostalgia of the sick 80's arcade era while catching a Captains baseball game.
The 80's Arcade Suite is a private suite inside Classic Auto Group Park that features a variety of classic arcade games from the totally rad 80s, including Mortal Kombat, Star Wars Racer, NBA Jam, X-Men, and way more. Fans who rent the suite will also score some comfy seating, perfect views of the baseball field, and the option to grub on some gnarly food and groovy beverages for an additional cost.
For the moment we are going to forgive the Lake County Captains' over-exuberance that led them to shoe-horning eight different words that kind of relate to the 80's in the first two paragraphs of their press release. After all, this is minor league baseball where on any given night they can light the third baseman on fire and call it human candle night.
We are also going to forgive the fact that three of the four video games they mention were released in the 90's. They're still awesome games and I still remember the code for Sub-Zero's fatality where he rips the head off his opponents body. Forward, down, forward, high punch.
Instead we'll focus on just how freaking sick this idea is. They claim this 80's arcade suite is the first of its kind and as far as I can tell they seem to be right. A suite decked out in retro decor and filled with some of our favorite games from childhood is the type of forward thinking we need in all levels of baseball. If the pitch clock was one small step for baseball then in-stadium retro gaming arcades are one giant leap for dude kind.
The neon lights, the tube television sets, and all the way down to the old school arcade style carpet. This suite absolutely fucks. Makes me want to throw on a jean jacket and some Reebok pumps and bully kids for quarters. I wasn't old enough to do any of those things in the 80s but I would damn sure do it now. I've been itching to give some dweeb a noogie.
This is the same stadium where you can get the "Moby Dick Fish Sandwich" that has 24 sardines, 16 fish patties, 12 fried clams, 37 pickles, cheese wiz, and oyster sauce on a bun.
So if the arcade suite has a personal bathroom you are pretty much covered on all angles. You can dunk on your buddy in NBA Jam and not have to worry about dumping in your pants after eating the entire frozen fish section from you local grocery store.
Fish farts aside, lower level MLB affiliates are some of the best sporting events you can attend. They work their ass off for your money and pretty much everything is affordable. Plus you don't have to worry about some soft millionaire getting butt hurt and assaulting you because you heckled him. Unless of course it's "Get Punched In The Face By A Player Night" in which case it's all just part of the minor league experience.