CJ Stroud Says Ohio State Fans Would Venmo Him To Be Able To Criticize Him Since He Doesn't Use Social Media

Today in People Who Need To Seek Employment, we have Ohio State fans who would apparently circumvent CJ Stroud's lack of social media use during the season by criticizing him on Venmo. There's so much to unpack here.

Firstly, as I said, if you ever find yourself sending someone you've never met — and who is infinitely more successful than you — a Venmo message criticizing them, it's time to get a job. I'm guessing it will be difficult to get one given your obvious lack of life skills, but at least try.

Secondly, who the hell was criticizing a quarterback who threw for more than 8,000 yards and 85 touchdowns in two years? I guess I shouldn't try to rationalize with people who are hating in the Venmo DMs, but every program in America except maybe one would have traded quarterbacks with Ohio State the last two years in a heartbeat. I can't fathom watching a Heisman finalist and thinking, "We really need more out of the quarterback position."

And finally, is sending someone American currency to tell them a criticism you so desperately want them to see the greatest self-own of all-time? I'm assuming these idiots weren't sending Stroud enough to pay his rent, but just the act of sending any amount of money from your bank account to someone else's just so you can tell them they suck is truly an incredible act. These people are too stupid to insult.

If anyone out there wants to tell me how terrible I am, my Venmo is open.