Advertisement

Did We Shoot Down a UFO On Saturday? F-22 Pilots Could Not Explain How The Unidentifiable Cylindrical Object Was Staying In The Air And Claim It "Interfered With Their Sensors"

Shutterstock Images.

Over the recent years we've gotten a large increase in reports of UFOs and all sorts of evidence that strongly points to us not being alone in the universe. Honestly if you thought we were the only intelligent lifeforms in existence you're either incredibly naive or narcissistic. The odds that we are all so lucky to be the only ones who figured this shit out are nearly impossible. 

From the looks of it the aliens aren't so different from that girl or guy at the bar who just wants your attention. What ET didn't account for was how easily we'd be able to brush off these encounters and simply move onto the next big story, like Leo's new 25 and under smokeshow girlfriend for example. Now before we shift all of our attention to the Super Bowl later today, let's take a minute to look into what happened over in Canada on Saturday because it's pretty interesting. 

(Daily Mail) Justin Trudeau, the Canadian prime minister, announced earlier on Saturday that he had requested U.S. and Canadian forces scramble to intercept 'an unidentified object that violated Canadian airspace', and a U.S. F-22 shot it down at 3:41pm Eastern Standard Time.

Canada's defense minister said it was a 'a small cylindrical object' that was not as big as the South Carolina spy balloon.  A NORAD spokesman, Maj. Olivier Gallant, said on Saturday evening the military had determined what it was but would not reveal details. 

First of all what a week to be a pilot of an F-22, huh? We've been racking up the score on these bastards like it's nobody's business. If these are in fact aliens well they fucking stink at this thing. While I'm sure this is their lowest form of tech and the big guns are on the way you cannot deny that we're smoking them right out of the damn sky. 

Now obviously spy balloons were all the craze earlier in the week, but this one seems a little different, no? Did they say….small….cylindrical…object? Let's also hear what the pilots had to say. 

Did someone say North Pole?

Okay so based on that report above we actually don't know what we shot down. All jokes aside that's a little fucking crazy, right? Reports from fighter pilots saying they don't know how the object was staying in the air and that it was interfering with their sensors? Mind you we're talking about an unidentifiable cylindrical object. 

Advertisement

Oh and there's this little interesting tidbit…

We've also got real journalists asking alien questions!

I'll tell ya what. There was a definitive way to answer that question and this lady certainly didn't entertain that angle. There was eventually a report published in the Wall Street Journal that said the object appeared to be a balloon with payload attached. 

But didn't they say before this thing was cylindrical? Wouldn't the pilots easily be able to tell this was a balloon in the first place? In situations like these I'm taking the pilots account way more than whatever the White House is reporting to manage PR. All I'm saying is that this feels very strange. 

We also had another instance later on Saturday night that resulted in airspace closing down in the Montana area. 

Advertisement

The airspace was opened back up an hour later, but only because we can't do anything further until it gets light out again. This thing is still currently flying around out there. Not being able to fight in the dark certainly feels like a hole in our defense plan, similar to how we can't see asteroids coming from the direction of the Sun (a giant problem we need to fix).

All of it is so weird, man. Welp, looking forward to the Super Bowl happening later today which will wash this all away like one big flashy thingy from Men in Black

I wonder what kind of appearance, announcement, attack, etc. it would take to get Americans to stop paying attention to the Super Bowl. Let's say Mahomes has the ball driving late in the 4th quarter trying to win the game, is there anything from the aliens that's getting us idiots to pay attention to something else? I really don't think so. 

P.S. KFC mushing the world's existence would be so perfect. KFC's big payday mere moments away and here we are potentially triggering an intergalactic war. What an asshole

Advertisement

P.P.S. If this is one big Super Bowl ad campaign I might turn into The Joker