Quebec's Groundhog Day Ended Up Just Being An Announcement That Their Groundhog Was Now Dead
CBC — Fred la marmotte, the province's famous furry oracle in Val-d'Espoir, Que., was found dead overnight Thursday, hours before he had been expected to predict whether it would be an early or late spring.
The organizer of Thursday's Groundhog Day event in Val-d'Espoir announced the sombre news following some 40 minutes of festivities, including music and dancing.
"In life, the only thing that's certain is that nothing is certain," said a serious Roberto Blondin in front of a crowd of awaiting spectators.
"Well, this year it's true. It's true and it's unfortunate. I announce to you the death of Fred."
Blondin said he found the lifeless animal overnight when he tried to wake him. He said he had "no vital signs" and figures Fred passed away in late fall or early December, during hibernation, at the age of nine.
I would say this is a pretty bad omen for the people of Quebec, but there isn't any omen that can really be worse than already living in Canada. This is just par for the course for those guys.
I guess my biggest question from this entire situation would be why is nobody checking on this groundhog for months at a time? Y'all decided the night before it's supposed to be Fred's time to shine, "Hey, maybe we should go make sure he's still alive?" Fred deserved better.
Because they had to do something, though, the Canadians ended up hoisting a child in a groundhog costume.
I sure hope that kid got back to his parents and didn't become the new Fred, because those assholes will leave him in a barn unattended all winter.