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Eli Apple Trolling The Shit Out Of Stefon Diggs And Josh Allen Is A Pack We Should All Aspire To Smoke On

Bryan M. Bennett. Getty Images.

Is Eli Apple the best cornerback in the NFL? Not even close. Does he still remain unbothered and talk shit like a first-team All-Pro? You bet your ass he does. That's how the Cincinnati Bengals roll these days because, you know, with Joe Burrow leading the charge, it's a little easier to walk the walk.

Anyway MY LORD, Eli. You are just going in on these poor Buffalo Bills. Like, we're to the point where this man is up in the late-evening hours of Victory MonDey, retweeting memes and quote tweeting Stefon Diggs to add to his misery. Unfortunately, Alleged Second-Best Quarterback In The NFL Despite A Massive Turnover Problem Josh Allen caught some strays as well. 

This all started with Diggs responding to the report that he tried to bolt out of the locker room early after Sunday's loss because he was so frustrated. As you can see, the tail end of this is where Eli jumped on in.

From there we absolutely spiraled down an odyssey of glorious content that helps me restore my faith in social media as a positive tool for unity and in humanity in general. Then, you know, I doom scroll for another five seconds before everything's undone and I revert to nihilism.

Whatever's going on in Who Dey Nation, though, Eli gonna Eli.

The brains of Allen and Diggs were in an absolute pretzel during Sunday's 27-10 loss thanks to a brilliant SHITTY game plan masterminded by genius embarrassingly bad defensive coordinator Lou Anarumo, who doesn't deserve any head coach consideration whatsoever. OK I'm done joking about that. I love you, Lou. PLEASE STAY.

Cincinnati's secondary has earned the right to troll Diggs upon holding him to 35 yards on four catches. However, when your rookie teammate is attempting to intervene as the soothing voice of reason, perhaps you've pushed things a little too far!!

I love Cam Taylor-Britt's maturity beyond his years here. I also love, again, how few fucks Eli Apple actually gives.

This Bengals team has a hilarious amount of collective pettiness, but Eli is proudly proclaiming himself as the pettiest. It's beautiful.

I shit you not, these are actual retweets by Eli Apple from the evening of Monday, January 23, 2023. Please enjoy.

How about a PACMAN JONES throwback!?

Or quote tweeting the main account!?!?

My personal favorite. Literally yell laughed at this one:

For whatever qualms you have with Apple, he's done pretty OK for himself to wrest his career back from self-sabotage bust territory as a former top-10 pick to starting for a Bengals defense that's made the AFC Championship Game two years in a row. And won last year. Just so we don't get it twisted or forget that.

I'd be far more worried if Eli was in his bag and attacking the hell out of the Chiefs and their players. There was plenty of smack talk leading up to the last regular-season meeting — which again, the Bengals won. Let's be clear about that. Third consecutive victory for Cincinnati over Patrick Mahomes and his Kansas City crew.

Mahomes being hobbled with a high ankle sprain doesn't mean I'm counting him out from stringing together some miraculous performance. I'm sure for all the big talk Eli Apple is putting out there, he's ready to get down to work and make damn sure the Bengals take care of business at Arrowhead on Championship Sunday. Again.

PS, people are asking, and Jerry Thornton answered:

Tons of new Bengals merch flying off the virtual rack, too. GET AFTER IT.

Twitter @MattFitz_gerald/TikTok