Live EventLive from Chicago for Afternoon Football and Witching HourWatch Now
Surviving Barstool | Ep. 4 Premieres Monday (12/4) at 8PM ETWATCH EP. 1-3 NOW

Sam Bankman Fried Just Dropped A Blog Post Outlining His Innocence And His Lawyers Have To Be Freaking Out

ED JONES. Getty Images.

Imagine being SBF's lawyer. Waking up in your 800 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets, in your multimillion dollar home… and seeing that your client started a blog. And in that blog he blames everyone but himself for the downfall of FTX. Oh, and he also shares unaudited financials. And names names.

Nightmare fuel for any attorney.

So much bullshit to unpack, so little time.

CNBC - In a Thursday morning Substack post, FTX co-founder Sam Bankman-Fried denied allegations that he stole billions in user funds and suggested that Binance CEO Changpeng “CZ” Zhao conducted a monthslong effort to bring down FTX. 

His post provides his perspective on the collapse of FTX and his hedge fund Alameda Research, and includes purported FTX and Alameda financial metrics, caveated as “JUST AN ESTIMATE.”

In the beginning of 2022, for example, Bankman-Fried says he estimated Alameda’s total net assets at $99 billion. By October, he believed that his hedge fund’s net assets had fallen to $10 billion. He pinned the collapse on a broader market downturn, even comparing his FTT token’s performance to that of Tesla, bitcoin and the Invesco QQQ, an ETF that tracks the Nasdaq 100.

What this dude lacks in ability to run a company/social skills he makes up for in his inability to shut the fuck up.

I wonder if his lawyers signed off on the airtight "JUST AN ESTIMATE" disclaimer on those financial statements. It's like someone committing securities fraud putting "NOT FINANCIAL ADVICE" in their Twitter profile.

Of course, grouping himself in with legit businesses isn't going to make him any friends. This dude really had the balls to compare the run on FTX to that of Credit Suisse a few months back (which was blown out of proportion).

Probably the most outlandish part of it all is that SBF places the blame on CZ, the founder of Binance. He claims that he brought down FTX with a month's long PR campaign. Listen, CZ might've kicked the door down, but inside was a straight up Walter White lab. Just instead of meth, SBF was cooking up fraud and shitcoins.

SBF's defense reads a lot like he's a high school kid pleading his case to get out of detention.

Keep in mind that SBF's trial doesn't begin until October of this year. Which means he's got plenty of time to shoot himself in the foot over and over again. At the current pace, it's safe to assume this moron will have started an OnlyFans, Mastodon, and TikTok by then to "tell his side of the story." Oprah interview incoming?

PS - The gift that keeps on giving also "mistakenly" turned on the "Pledge your support" option on Substack (perhaps he was raising money for more 'effective altruism'?)…

PPS - What type of grown ass man says "heh whoops"?

PPPS - Want more business and markets news? Follow me (@JPMorinChase) and @BarstoolFinance on Twitter for real time news and commentary. I also write The Water Coolest, Barstool's daily business and markets newsletter. It hits your inbox at 6 AM and covers all stories you need to know (not just SBF's fuckery). JOIN NOW >