Raccoon Boy Strikes Again - White Sox Dave Openly Discusses A Grotesque Move That Only He Could Do
A very enjoyable and timely draft from the Chicago Crew today - The Best & Worst Parts about Thanksgiving Break. There were a ton of great picks from the entire Crew to include one of the best picks coming from rescinded. The leftover food sandwich.
Whether it happens at 9pm when you get your third wind or lunch on Friday, it's a sandwich that never misses. This is due in part for the same reason Thanksgiving works - you don't have most of these foods any time of the year, if ever. I have cranberry and stuffing on a sandwich exactly one time a year so it maintains its appeal. Much like Christmas Music. I digress.
Never one to pass up an opportunity to remind us he lives in a garbage can and has the palate of a rodent, White Sox Dave said something so utterly grotesque that thinking about it again as I type this is making me queasy. When I listened the first time I stopped in my tracks and nearly fell over.
For his one "Food" pick, WSD selected stuffing. Stuffing is delicious but raccoon boy found a way to make it disgusting. He specified it is the stuffing while still cooking inside the turkey. So David walks by the oven, pulls it open, reaches his grubby, disgusting fingers with the dirtiest fingernails into the bird and pulls out a handful of stuffing that he slovenly shoves down his gullet. He said he uses a spoon but we all know that's a blatant lie because even he recognizes how disgusting this is and tried to church it up some when saying this all out loud. He ignores that the uncooked inner cavity of the bird is dripping juice everywhere in the hopes that he contracts salmonella. The worst part about this is his family had no clue about this until today. For years they've unknowingly ingested Daves fingernails and dead skin. Gross. Inconsiderate. Disgusting. Raccoon boy.
Not to be outdone by his disgusting ways is White Sox Dave's stupidity. He argued that just because you do something every year it doesn't make it tradition.
There were many great picks and it was an enjoyable draft so give it a watch. Some final thoughts:
- Thanksgiving Eve from ages 21-27ish is the best night of the year. Before and after those ages, it loses all its luster but damn if that isn't a very fun stretch heading to your hometown bars. Cross Canadian Ragweed said it best when they sang, "You're always seventeen in your home town." Something about being with high school friends, especially running into folks you were cool with but lost touch with along the way. Seeing how people change - some good, some bad. Mix it all together and it's a fun night.
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- Playing a pickup football game (Turkey Bowl) also has a finite amount of time but if you're lucky enough to play in one for a handful of years you're lucky enough
- Where I grew up (New Jersey) high school football is huge on Thanksgiving Eve and Day. That is when the traditional rivalry game is played. It was special for me growing up because just my dad and I would go to the game. It felt special to do something that was just me and the old man without my sisters. Then in high school it was always a special event to play in that game - lot of alumni were home, everyone was in a great mood, and I later realized a large portion of the crowd was intoxicated. Yes, for those asking, I was 3-0 as a starter in Thanksgiving games.
- The outfit - it is always important to make sure you have a good Thanksgiving outfit. You want to look nice but also with a level of comfort commensurate with eating and drinking all day. Delicate balance.