Finish This Meal For $25,000 | Barstool's Most Dangerous Gameshow FinaleWATCH NOW

Playing Christmas Music Before December 1st Is A Crime

James Devaney. Getty Images.
Giphy Images.

It's starting. People started posting Christmas decorations already on social. Mariah is starting to tip toe around Spotify. It's pretty simple - playing Christmas music before Dec 1st is a crime. "Oh Cons, don't be a Scrooge" I can hear now from the halls of the internet. Pipe down. I would argue I am the complete OPPOSITE of Scrooge and that's why I ain't bumping Christmas In New York or Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas before that calendar says 12/1.

You see, much like everyone, I love Christmas. More specifically, I love the Christmas season. The decorations, the Christmas-themed episodes of your favorite sitcom growing up (shout to Zack Morris giving the homeless guy money at the mall), the movies, the endless Christmas parties, everyone's jovial attitude, and most of all the MUSIC. The reason I am able to love all these things year in year out is because they never lose their allure. Although I only get them for 25 days, that is the precise reason they maintain that allure. 

What happened to Augustus when he went unchecked at the chocolate river? He fell in and nearly died. Don't be Augustus with Christmas music. Have some discipline. If you indulge in your favorite things (i.e. Christmas music) every day, it is no longer special. I can hear White Sox Dave now, "Shut up Cons, I'm an adult and can do whatever I want and I like listening to Christmas music in July." Don't be a raccoon boy with no taste. There's no hope for him, but there is for you. Just wait, you'll thank me.

A few final points

  • Christmas In New York is the definitive best Christmas song and Mariah Carey is dangerously flirting with becoming white noise with how much her song is played. When gross bars are playing your song in July, it loses a lot of luster. 
  • There are only really 20/25 good Christmas songs just sung by different artists. When you think about it, it's a small playlist that easily can get worn out after 25 days. 
  • Don't forget to wish my pal, Large, a Happy Birthday on Christmas. It's no surprise he shares a birthday with Christ. 
  • Egg nog stinks
  • I'll concede the day after Thanksgiving for those who want to get an early start but no sooner
  • You know what you can do instead of listening to Christmas music? You can listen to the interview Zero Blog Thirty did with Coach K