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The Texans Fire Jack Easterby, the Worst Executive in All of Professional Sports

Gary McCullough. Shutterstock Images.

The Good Book says, "Pride goeth before a fall." But you do not have to tell that to Houston Texans Vice President of Football Operations Jack Easterby. Because before he was running the once proud Texans organization into the ground, he worked for the Patriots with the title "Character Coach/Team Development." Essentially, he was the team's chaplain. Counseling players, leading team prayers and so on.

But humility was never his thing. He had one of the sweetest gigs in America, getting paid well by the most successful operation in pro sports, with a zero-pressure job, with the respect and support of the people he worked for. Even getting glowing puff-pieces written about how "influential" he was. (Though it's worth mentioning that he was being all "influential" when one of his tight ends went on a murder spree.)


Still, he wanted more than just being an NFL Dynasty's Morality Coordinator. He wanted a say in personnel decisions. Which he wasn't going to get unless he could summon the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse to come down from the skies and rain some Book of Revelations-style divine retribution upon the people nice enough to have given him a full time job. For that, he had to go to Houston.

Somehow, and nobody is sure how, Easterby not only finagled his way onto Bill O'Brien's front office staff, he got enough sway over CEO Cal McNair to take over the entire operation. He forced O'Brien out. Made terrible trades. And ran the place like it was his own personal Sodom and Gomorrah:

That is, when he wasn't being the "multiple sources" in every, single article or book that talked shit about the inner workings of the Patriots. Or spending two years trying to steal Nick Caserio from the Pats and finally succeeding. Or being the Bill Burr of nobody's generation:

Somehow, some way, a man who wasn't qualified to organize a Bible Camp flag football game made himself into one of the most powerful figures in the NFL. Part Emperor Palpatine, part Dean Pelton:

Giphy Images.


… all naked, blind ambition. 

Now his unholy reign of terror is over.

Source -  Easterby and the Texans are going their separate ways, according to Adam Schefter of ESPN. …

Easterby was widely regarded as the person who was the most important voice in shaping the Texans’ decision-making, including the hiring of General Manager Nick Caserio and head coach Lovie Smith.

With Easterby gone, it’s unclear how safe the jobs of Caserio and Smith are, and what the future of the franchise holds. The Texans don’t have much in the way of talent, but they are in great salary cap shape in 2023 and have extra first- and third-round picks in 2023 and extra first- and fourth-round picks in 2024, thanks to the Deshaun Watson trade.

Oh no. What a shame Easterby gave up so much in order to put his team in a great position going forward, but won't be around to get to enjoy it. I don't know if the Bible says anything about a man who makes great sacrifices for the benefit of others, but if it does, I'm sure Easterby can cite it chapter and verse, like the good Man of God he is. 

Like I've been saying about this fraud from the beginning, I admire religious people. And I respect ambitious people. But the world has a bit of a bad history with religious ambitious people. Historically they've tended to be the primary movers when it's come to your ritual human sacrifices, wars, genocides, Inquisitions, and convincing sundowning seniors to send them checks so they can build theme parks. Now he's just another unemployed false prophet, searching for another franchise he can ruin from within. Oh well. At least he'll have more time to plant negative stories about his former employers. And work on his spot-on impressions. This might be football's loss. But it's stand up comedy's gain.