You guys ready for your headliner?! [Applause..] Alright! Well it's my pleasure to welcome this gentleman to the stage. You know him from the years he spent as the New England Patriots team chaplain and character coach. He's currently the Houston Texans VP of Football Ops where he's just been killing the franchise. And he's been working religious retreats and Christian youth conferences all across the country. Folks, let's give it up for ... Jack! ... Easterby!!! [Thunderous cheers]
Theologian. Life coach. Football executive. Stand up comic. Is there anything Jack Easterby cannot do? I mean, no wonder Cal McNair hired him and handed absolute power of his franchise over to the guy. He was no doubt mesmerized by his comedy chops. The writing. The pacing. The timing. Every punchline delivered with precision. The observational comedy of Jerry Seinfeld with the everyman relatability of Bill Burr and the warmth and humanity of Jim Gaffigan. That's how you relate to the young audiences nowadays.
And now we know why he was the Patriots character coach. Because he does more characters than Robin Williams. I mean, the West Coast Guy who has a surfboard on his Jeep and wants to be chill? The Midwesterner who says, "Dontcha know?" all the time? New Yorker Guy wants to know what youze lookin' at? And Boston Guy can't stop saying "Pahk ya cah"???
It's like he turns into a different person right before our eyes! Laugh? I nearly did.
So I take back everything I've said about Jack Easterby. Sure, he was the "several team sources" in every hatchet job article written about the very people who gave a guy with a Theology degree a career in the NFL. And in under two years he's managed to destroy the franchise he's running. But those are small potaters when you've got these kind of comedy chops. Obviously, after 30 years of stand up and never having a set this good, I'm just jealous.