Patrick Reed Has Filed A Hilariously Absurd Defamation Lawsuit Against Golf Channel, Brandel Chamblee, And The PGA Tour For $750 Million(!!!)

Man. I love Patrick Reed. Know why I like Patrick Reed? Guy is predictable. There's something to be appreciated about a guy you could set your watch to. He's dependable. Reliable. Consistent.  Sometimes you need a rock like that in your life.

If you told me to close my eyes and you started to describe this lawsuit to me without naming names, I'd tell you this was about Patrick Reed by the middle of the 2nd sentence. It's so hilariously on brand for the Reeds from top to bottom. 

The bulletpoints of the lawsuit are funny enough in their own right ($750 million? Because somebody was mean to you on TV? Wahhh) but the way his legal team drew this up is downright legendary. 

This stuff is straight out of a WWE promo

Skip Bayless caught a ricochet shot at one point

They took the time to list out basically every single heckle that's ever been heckled in the mere vicinity of Reed

"Now on the tee the excavator!" is such a tier 1 heckle. What a way to kick things off there.

The whole document is HERE to read if you want to give it a go. It's 30 pages of gold.

Sometimes I wonder what it'd be like to live in whatever galaxy the Reeds do.