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The Moist Official Formal Breakdown Of Your 2022 Chicago Cub All Star Selections (BLEACHER BUM TV EPISODE 13)

Moist wasn't a typo fellas. Get wet one time. 

Back in the garage talking shop and honestly guys I look pretty good for a really fucked up 35 year old guy. Good sun and a little rest goes a long way in the Carl house, much like the Ian Happ and the Willson Contreras homes. Congrats to those dudes on getting the nod for the ASG. It's Willson's 3rd start and Ian's first game. We'll have boots on the ground next week and rumor has it both will be talking to Barstool Sports. 

On that front, let me clear up some stuff. A lot of people think that I hate Willson. That I don't like him and don't want him. That couldn't be further from the truth. It's just a matter of being 18 games under .500 and then building around someone on that team knowing 4 years from now they will be a very very very much different player. If everyone else was good and the Cubs let him walk for a bum, then I'd burn Tom Ricketts down. Not the house, the man. And not metaphorically. Tom I know you're reading this. I'd light you on fire. 

But this isn't where we're at. And the Cubs have shown their hand time and again to be cheap, self centered and completely ignorant to my personal wants and needs. So why now after watching this whole thing unravel would I expect Tom to go out of his way? Fuck outta here guys. Let's stay positive and be present and enjoy the moment. The Cubs have made their mistakes and now that time has past. It's time to look ahead. 

If they sign Willson, then outbid Correa to opt-out. Go fucking nuts in the draft on pitching. Pump them full of steroids and sign ever bullpen arm available. 

I mean honestly I can't get away from these thoughts. I want to talk about Ian Happ's first half and why he's awesome and all that shit. I can - he's been outstanding. But I just am so fed up with not knowing futures. Give the dude a 6 year deal or some shit so he can stick around awhile at his peak powers. One time, ONE GODDAMN TIME, somebody at 1060 W. Addison learn from a mistake. 

Anyways congrats to the boys. Happ and Contreras. Amidst severe downward spiraling from so many aspects of the 2022 Cubs, these guys have been outstanding and we get to celebrate them for a night without considering the standings. That's a welcome respite and I love it. 

Another thing I love is merch. BBTV merch has arrived. 

Don't be a cheapskate when it's 20% off. Join the movement that is my content 401k. One of these days I'll explain my 10 year plan. For now just work with me and support BBTV. Danny Lantz does too fine a job for you guys to not buy merch. Kid used to be a hand model and now he's a green screen specialist. Dreams really do come true. 

Again go buy some merch