Barstool vs. America presented by High Noon - Season 2 | Episode 4WATCH NOW

Pete Alonso Doesn't Know If He Fully Wiped While Playing In Games

To be fair this happens a lot in baseball having to take a shit during the game. What people don't realize is that players get to the stadium for a 7pm game around 12 or 1pm. There is so much time to eat before the game and sometimes you just cant help it. Pete Alonso went on Chris Distefano's podcast and went through the whole process which was hysterical. This bastard said that he gives himself a hemorrhoid because he is pushing so hard and the panic sets in when a teammate is screaming there is two outs and you have to hurry.  

Now I am just imaging it's the 8th inning the Mets are down 1 and you bet on the Mets. You are freaking out on your couch hoping they come back and all Alonso is worried about is pinching off a shit and making sure he doesn't have any splatter sliding into home. That is so much pressure because when you start getting the chills and you're getting to that point you can't hold it anymore and once you get to your toilet its a huge relief and you hangout there for a little bit. The only difference is that Alonso is running to the turdlet and he's fucked if Walker Buehler is pitching because it could it be a 1,2,3 inning and he is only half done with the poop. Im worried for him not knowing if he fully wiped because especially if they are home those white pants could be a real problem for him. Also Pete Alonso is a big boy he isn't taking any gluten thin poops he probably has big ones. I also think this is the reason Alonso is a good hitter. Seems like he has to shit all the time so all his mind is on is to hold that shit in. That takes your mind off the game and lets you just relax and mash the ball.