Barstool vs. America presented by High Noon - Season 2 | Episode 3WATCH NOW

Phil Mickelson Smoked A Patron With A Tee Shot And Is Headed Home Early After Missing The Cut

Patrick Smith. Getty Images.

$1 Million. 

If this guy asked for anything south of that figure as reparations for getting hit in the melon by a Phil Mickelson tee shot he needs to be sent to the hospital ASAP. I'm talking CT scans, x-rays, overnight evalution, the whole 9. And if those all come back clean, this man needs to be a committed to an institution yesterday. Dude hit the fucking lottery today and anything short of 7 figures is a no brainer.

If I get hit by that tee shot, I'm going down like a heap of bricks. I'd even roll down the hill all the way into the fairway just to sell it. They'd have to peel me off the fairway with a giant spatula and stretcher me into the ambo. And as they're lifting me into it, I'm opening one eye and making eye contact with Phil saying one word.

"Checkbook."

Man. What a rough week for Phil. Yeah he's swimming in the dough but from Monday to Friday this week, he most certainly had a bad time. Started with that brutal press conference on Monday and it's ending with a thud and an early flight home tonight. 78-73 will do that. I guess we'll see him regularly at LIV events and at the major championships he's exempt at the rest of the way, but I seriously doubt we see any more magic from Phil. The old Phil can't come to the phone right now. He's dead.

Regardless, something about this photo is laugh out loud funny to me.

Rob Carr. Getty Images.

Let me just lay a glove at your feet and hope this goes away. Hilarious.

RIP in peace to Phil Mickelson's US Open hopes.