Hey there. Tommy Smokes here. Thanks for clicking. I know exactly who's reading this right now. Because I was you once. You're probably sitting at home all lonely and horny and virginy. Wondering if you'll ever get to have sex with a woman and feel her flesh on your flesh. Wondering what tits look like in real life. Are they round? Are they square? Are they oblong? These are questions that used to race through my head too.
But then my life changed. I unlocked the key to having sex with thousands of hot women. Right in their pussies (that's where my dick goes and then I thrust). If you follow my guide below, that can be you one day too. You've come to the right place.
Step 1: Confidence
My grandpa was known for one thing: having sex. And he imparted a ton of wisdom on me before he passed. His favorite saying was always "Fucking confidence is the key to everything. And it's also the key to fucking everything." As long as you have confidence and believe in yourself, anything is possible.
Step 2: Pick-Up Lines
It's all about having game. When you approach a girl at a bar, you have to know what to say and how to say it. Here are some pick-up lines I've had the most succsex with:
-"Hello beautiful. I was just admiring you from afar and would like to have sexual intercourse with you using my penis."
-"Hey girl. Saw you from across the room and couldn't help but wonder. Were you a C-section or a vaginal birth?"
-"Climate change is a bunch of liberal propaganda made up by Al Gore and anyone who believes in it is sub-human swine."
-"What's your blood type? Because being around you makes me B-Positive laughter But actually what is it? I do really need to know that before this goes any further."
Step 3: Wardrobe
Dress to impress. Fashion is everything these days. But what should you wear? Well brother, I have the perfect shirt for you.
The last piece of the puzzle. A t-shirt with a picture of an Internet blogger posing like Kobe Bryant after he won his office trivia tournament with the word "Unfuckable" underneath it but crossed out to then just say "Fuckable" because he became very fuckable after winning said trivia tournament. You will be impossible to resist.
And that's just about everything. With confidence, those pick-up lines, and that t-shirt, you will be irresistible to women everywhere.