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These Guys Either Captured Video of Bigfoot or They're Genius-Level Hoaxers

This was posted on the TikTok site Cryptid University, which specializes in videos with splash headlines like "Bigfoot Caught on Camera!" and "Clear Photo of Bigfoot" and "Bigfoot Owns Woke Lib Student!" and such. If 1% of it was real, the greatest paleontological mystery of modern times would be solved, with a giant Mythbusters-like "CONFIRMED" stamped on the entire legend. 

The thing is, while I am convinced UFOs are very real, I reserve judgement on Bigfoot. I very much think it's plausible. Sightings of huge, furry, ape-like cryptids have reported in every time zone on Earth for centuries. The Sasquatch is very much a part of Native American lore, seen in some of their most sacred iconography. And biologists have fossil records of similar beings like Gigantopithecus and Australopithicus that very much existed. The idea that they could've survived to the modern day might sound farfetched until you visit some of the great, vast expanses of wilderness in North America or Asia. I've been to Alaska a few times. And flying over those dense, unexplorable forests makes you realize anything could be living there and rarely seen by humans. Assuming evolution would give such creatures the ability to detect and avoid contact. 

All that said, I have a hard time with this video. The idea that these two back country bozos would just so happen to be rolling cellphone video of the most boring conversation ever conducted, making all that noise, as a being with supernatural ability to hide in the deep forest would expose itself to them is just astronomical beyond belief. Not to make a value judgment on these guys, whom we know nothing about, but listening to them talk, I'm surprised they found the phone counter at Walmar, never mind Sasquatch. 

But this image, the Patterson-Gimlin footage from 1967? This is real:

Giphy Images.

My buddy Matty asked one of the guys who took it point blank if it was real. And the guy leaned in, looked him in the eye and said something to the effect of, "Son, I'm 85 years old and a cowboy. I don't make shit up." Plus I saw a documentary about it a while ago where they used modern technology to clean it up, take the shake out of it and enhance it. Once you've seen this magnificent beast's hi-def buttcrack and flopping Bigfoot tittays, you too will be convinced. Just not of this TikTok thing.