The Stanley Cup Playoffs Are Extra Greasy This Year

Richard Lautens. Getty Images.

If you listened to the Wayne Gretzky interview on Spittin Chiclets the other week then you heard 99 talk about how players have a certain level of respect for one another once you reach the NHL. About how guys aren't going out there and looking to injure their opponents because that level of mutual respect is there, and they realize these guys all have some families to go back to once the game is over. 

Apparently that shit doesn't exist in the Stanley Cup Playoffs, or at least not anymore. Because what we saw on display last night in the first few games of the playoffs was some extra greasy hockey. 

First up let's start with this Kyle Clifford "hit" on Ross Colton. 

I mean just a totally moronic decision. Absolute scumbag piece of shit move. You have to be the biggest C sucker on the planet to line a dude up like that when you see his numbers the whole way. I know the Leafs brought Kyle Clifford in to toughen up the lineup for the playoffs. But how tough is that jackass going to be when he's wearing a suit and watching the games from the press box? 

Obviously tensions were going to be a little high for the rest of the night. Especially when the Lightning were getting their shit kicked in on the scoreboard. So when Wayne Simmonds did his job and landed a good clean hit in the 3rd period, it was time to grease it up again. 

There's absolutely nothing wrong with that Wayne Simmonds hit. There's absolutely nothing wrong with Corey Perry and Maroon trying to go after Simmonds to give the Bolts at least some sort of spark and sign of life heading into game 2. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with Wayne Simmonds knowing the situation and not giving either of them the fight. But once the game went to commercial break?

Corey Perry with a massive sucker punch. Morgan Rielly almost killed a guy. You have these teams play each other 6 more times and we're going to see a few 1st degree murders out there. 

And now we get to potentially the most egregious bucket of grease of them all. We go over to Minnesota for game 1 of the Wild vs Blues series. It's 4-0 St. Louis with just under 1:30 to go in the game. The game is beyond over, time for everyone to move on and get ready for game 2. But right before his night is done for good, Jared Spurgeon makes NHL history and becomes the first guy to ever crosscheck the shit out of another player's ankles. 

Jared Spurgeon? More like Jared AnkleSurgeon. 

Getting your dicks kicked in 4-0 at home to start off the playoffs in a year when the Minnesota Wild actually have a chance at going on a deep playoff run? Perfect time to break out the ol' ankle crosscheck. As greasy as grease can get. 

Can't wait to see what goes down in tonight's action. I'll take a Nathan MacKinnon freakout at -250.