4th of July Collection | Now Available at the Barstool StoreSHOP HERE

Advertisement

Apple Has Developed A New "Wedding Ring" That Connects To Your Partner To Tell Them Everywhere You've Been And When You Take It Off

Trends Maniac - Tech giant, Apple Technologies is said to have been engaged in the development of smart rings just like they have done with the Apple Smart Watches that help an iPhone user to perform among others, things he can do with his phone.

According to reports, the introduction of these smart rings is intended to reduce lies in relationships since the watch will be able to record the travel or movement trajectory of a person and upon request reveal details of that movement any day.

Although a little bulkier than a wedding or engagement ring tends to be, it looks like the Apple Ring should be able to fit on one finger without becoming a burden.

The smart wedding rings connect with the couple’s ring and let them know everything about the spouse’s trajectory and the places visited by him or her.

Better yet, if it’s deleted or locked it reports off on the other ring, so the other person will know if it’s been turned off

In addition, it will have the ability to show the rhythm of the heartbeat, blood pressure, amount of sweat, and other extremely interesting data.

So I originally hesitated on posting this because I didn't wanna get JMac'd and fall for something that was fake.

But I did a little investigating and lo-and-behold Apple Cupertino DOES in fact hold a patent for this...

Giphy Images.

(This mother fucker)

That said, I think it's safe to say that a female 110% was behind this correct?

First, it was Facetime. So they could see if you really were where you say you are. 

Think about it. When do you ever use Facetime?

For me, its when my Nana calls and wants to see me. Or when I'm out of town out with my boys. A "what you doing?" text, is almost ALWAYS followed up by a facetime before I can even hit send on a "just left the bar/club, grabbing a few slices of pizza". 

Definitely, a technology invented by a woman.

Next, they spearheaded the "find my friends" app. The Trojan Horse that every woman grabs your phone and uses to share your location with her the second your relationship goes to the next level.

Notice they never share theirs back with you. No, no, no, because "it drains the battery." But you? Who gives a fuck about your battery. They need to know where you are at all times. Especially 9-5.

The craziest part is the more intrusive the technology becomes, the quicker people sign up for it. 

"Holy shit, a watch that tracks my heartbeat, GPS location at all times, syncs my phone calls and text messages, and shares all the metadata it collects with my other Apple products? Give me two"


And wow. Now they went all in. 

Electronic  ̶m̶o̶n̶i̶t̶o̶r̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶d̶e̶v̶i̶c̶e̶s̶ wedding bands that tell them when you take them off. And your blood pressure and heart rate. So you better think twice the next time you hit Spearmint Rhino with the fellas. You're fucked.

You're fucked if you take the apple ring off, and you're fucked if you leave it on.

(For some reason envisioning this scenario made me think of the hacker scene from Swordfish)

Advertisement

So we can all thank Apple and their leader Tim Apple for once again intruding on what little semblance of privacy we still have left.
Giphy Images.

p.s. - all this talk about wedding bands and strip clubs made this song come to mind. deal with it